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Home / Bay of Plenty Times

Richard Moore: Trapped in someone else's nightmare

By Richard Moore
Bay of Plenty Times·
30 Jul, 2013 02:00 AM4 mins to read

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Oh dear, much as I hate to be put into a box it seems mine should be branded "RichardM, Type A personality".

That is someone whose traits include: Being ambitious, direct, impatient, tries to help others and wants other people to get to the point. We are also "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate delays and ambivalence.

Fortunately for me, my wonderful lady is a serene person with an easy calm that soothes the savage beast and goes about life with a get-on-with-everyone-I-can attitude.

She's a people person and a brilliant manager.

There have been times when she's been so nice to even the most hideous of staff who, had I been their boss, would have had a very short, sharp lesson in manners.

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Anyway, there is only one thing that makes her hackles rise and that is the issue of mail-order, or internet, brides.

There have been occasions when we have been eating out where an old bloke has entered with a young Asian woman on his arm and I swear to God my gal takes on my at-the-footy persona and I have to hose her down.

Personally, I have nothing against interweb marriages, although the extreme age difference thing is more than a little eww.

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The same goes with arranged marriages, although this week we saw the bad side of them when a man was jailed for 14 months for beating up his wife.

Mohammed Haleem Begg wanted his wife to return to Fiji because he was reportedly tired of her after only a few months and, when she didn't obey, he attacked her.

According to the court report, he began by slapping her in the face, then punched her, when she crouched down and rolled into a ball he repeatedly punched her before kicking her.

Witnesses saw her fleeing the house and called the police. Well done to them.

As I have said many times in the past I cannot stand alleged men who beat up on women.

They are cowards and pathetically inadequate individuals and, were I to see an assault taking place, the chances are I would drop the culprit first and ask questions later.

Begg's lawyer, Ned Burke, wanted a sentence of home detention - a laughable suggestion when dealing with home assault I would have thought.

Fortunately, Judge Robert Wolff thought so too and Begg was biffed inside for 14 months and ordered to pay $2000 to his wife as emotional harm reparation. She is still living in the Bay.

When he is released it is to be hoped that Begg will have learned his lesson and keep his fists to himself. Mind you, I'll not hold my breath as some people just don't seem able to learn.

Begg's father said after the sentence was handed down: "I do think if ... the judge hadn't focused so much on his past convictions there may have been a different result."

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Says a lot doesn't it.

Now it seems many women in arranged marriages are suffering with the Shakti Ethnic Women's Support Group dealing with at least 65 cases in a year needing legal aid.

That is extremely worrying.

In Western culture if you make a poor choice of spouse, you can always divorce them.

In arranged marriages, you are dropped right into it and many cultures that have those customs believe a woman must stay with her husband, even an abusive one, for life.

That is an outrage and, as a fair-minded society, we must allow all abused women the chance to escape and, once they have taken that courageous step, support them restart their lives.

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We also need to educate those from different cultures that domestic violence is not acceptable and won't be tolerated.

Once we have explained to them, then we should educate the locals, from all walks of life, who also think it acceptable to beat their wives or partners with impunity.

THE letter from Tim Short in yesterday's Bay of Plenty Times about the Rena was interesting.

In it, Tim asked for all candidates and serving councillors to say what they did during the clean-up of our beaches after the Rena Disaster.

He asked other than photo opportunities or briefings, what physical help did they offer?

It is a very good question as during my time photographing down on the beaches, which was pretty much every day, I did not see one of our councillors pitching in.

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As Tim says: "Any councillor on the payroll, seeking re-election who did not provide physical/practical help in our hour of need, - in my opinion has some cheek!"

Well said Tim.

richard@richardmoore.com

Richard Moore is an award-winning Western Bay journalist and photographer.

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