Now some of you will have picked up on the fact I have left out a couple of things... but you would be in the minority I'm afraid.
Easter is, actually, about the death of Jesus Christ and his resurrection.
Who knew? Some ask. And that is no surprise as in these days of rampant consumerism people are more interested in saving money, or making sales, than they are in acknowledging the two holiest days of the Christian calendar.
Now I'm no Bible basher. My days of attending church are long gone - unless I happen to be in Europe and then I pop into just about every house of worship I can find to marvel at the wonderful skills of stonemasons and carvers.
I deal with my God on a one-to-one basis as I have a major distrust of organised religions but, having said that, I believe we owe our Christian heritage some deference on three days a year.
Just how much longer we are going to be able to call them Easter and Christmas is anyone's guess, but the evil forces of political correctness are doing their best to end our most sacred traditions.
Across the PC West, Christmas is being slowly renamed as holidays.
"Happy Christmas" has become "Happy Holidays", but Easter has proved harder to derail for the PC types.
But - and this surprisingly in the US - some schools have started taking a Spring Break, rather than an Easter Break.
What is worse is that the treasured Easter eggs have been downgraded into Spring Spheres by some US schools.
This to me shows two things.
Firstly, that those running the schools are doing their pupils a huge disservice in undermining not only their traditions, but also their right to free speech.
Secondly, those folk also have no clue as to the shape of a sphere. A sphere is perfectly round. An egg is ovoid, that is a sphere that has been squished in the middle.
I hunted around for the PC term for these people but, sadly, it didn't seem to compute. So I'll just call them idiots.
And speaking of idiots, here are some absolute donkeys and - it has to be said - too many of them come from what should be the halls of learning at universities.
In PC Britain, the National Union of Students Women's Campaign announced it would ban hand-clapping at future conferences.
The feminist college student group claimed the act of clapping could trigger anxiety in some people.
So how do they think people should register their approval of something that is said?
Well, they want conference attendees to use "jazz hands" - that is waving their hands silently in the air.
You can just imagine the chaos that could ensue for any surf lifesavers there... or deaf people trying to read sign language. They'd go crazy!
Oooops, that's another word that the PC Nazis are trying to eradicate.
I'd be in real trouble at Smith's College in Massachusetts where the student newspaper refused to print a report of a meeting that contained the phrase "wild and crazy". Some within the paper's thought police determined the word crazy was "ableist" and refused to print it.
But that isn't the worst of it, dear readers, as the following shows.
A University of California LA professor got himself into PC-poo when he had the temerity to correct students' grammar.
Some students said his spelling and grammar corrections were "microaggression" against them.
Anyway these poor dear students staged a sit-in and disrupted his lecture by reading a group letter out loud.
While reading, one student protester began to cry saying: "I'm tired and it hurts me so much."
Not half as much as it hurt me to have to report it, but there you go.
Anyway, to everyone out there still battling to keep the PC brigade at bay, Happy Easter!
- richard@richardmoore.com
- Richard Moore is an award-winning Western Bay journalist and photographer.
