Yes I am.
So here goes ... , Merry CHRISTMAS one and all.
Oh, except to all those silly folk who think the word Christmas should be avoided so as not to exclude non-Christians.
Instead they want everyone to skip around singing Kumbaya and saying "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings".
Putting on my best alternative-Grinch impersonation I say: "Rack off."
And "Give me back my pressies".
How dare they try to impose their own jellyback views on the rest of us?
I'd love to see them saying the same sort of thing to the general populations in Burma, India, Pakistan or any non-Christian country.
They'd be burnt out of their offices very quickly and probably would spend time in jail.
Having travelled through Dubai this year during Ramadan - the Islamic holy month - we were offered very little in the way of leniency when it came to fasting through the daylight hours.
The law states you cannot eat or drink in public and if you do you run the risk of some pretty heavy punishments.
We could eat in hotels, in curtained off areas, but the drinking was more of a problem. We were walking around in 45C -plus temperatures and staying hydrated was essential. Fortunately many shopkeepers told us it was okay to drink water inside their shops and we took advantage as often as possible.
Now we didn't mind the restrictions, after all we were in an Islamic country and they can tell us to do what they like. We accepted and abided by their customs.
And so it should be with people visiting, or living in, a nation with different traditions.
After all we went to Dubai and knew what would be expected of us. That included no public displays of affection - holding hands or kissing. Let me say that is not always easy to remember when it is such a regular and natural thing to do in a relationship.
In my view there is no logical reason why migrants should feel excluded at Christmas time.
I love going to exotic festivals and other religions' rites because I am interested in finding out more about them.
Heck, I even went into Catholic churches and cathedrals while in Europe and - surprisingly - I wasn't cast into the pits of Hell for doing so. Well, not yet anyway.
And religious festivals can be so colourful, noisy and fun. It is fabulous to see people celebrating their own customs by bringing their cultures to their new homes.
I am sure most migrants would not be offended, or put out, by the word Christmas. They chose to come to a Christian country - even a pretty heathen one like New Zealand - and must have known about our end-of-year celebrations and customs. Office parties, big shop sales, increasing credit card debt, drunkenness and a jump in domestic violence.
Actually, now I come to think of it, those things are pretty offensive aren't they?
I would suggest most migrants couldn't care less about what we call Christmas. They'll either get into it or not.
I reckon the troublemakers wanting to subvert Christmas are the politically correct types who are, for some reason, embarrassed to be white and Christian.
In my view there is nothing wrong with either, unless you happen to be kneeling in an orange jumpsuit with some black-clad maniac behind you with a gun or big knife.
So to the bleeding hearts out there I say "Merry Christmas!"
And to more sensible folk I say "Merry Christmas!" - but with a smile and best wishes for you and your families.
