Sexologist and pleasure coach Terri Ewart. Photo / George Novak
Warning. This article includes adult content
Demand for "pleasure coaching" classes are on the rise, and are predicted one day to be as common as yoga, says a Tauranga sexologist.
And supporting women to "prioritise pleasure" is one goal of Tauranga sexologist Terri Ewart's, with women comprising just a quarter of her client base.
Guidance in masturbation techniques and orgasmic meditation are all in a day's work for Ewart, who will be holding workshops at an upcoming Wild Women weekend in Whangamata.
"My workshop spaces are focusing on achieving a 50+ percentage of women. I have found women in today's society have less time and money and don't prioritise their pleasure. I'm going to change that!"
Ewart says female sexuality is becoming more visible with trends such as crystal wands and menstrual cups becoming talked about as freely as discussions on types of yoga mats.
Being in touch with your sexuality achieves more for women than the big O, Ewart says, and can lead to success in all areas of life she says.
Ewart's focus is creating workshops where people can access knowledge in a "fun group setting".
Ewart's clients come to her sessions for all sorts of issues.
"People come to me because they either want to learn something."
Whereas some clients attend one-off sessions, most come regularly and are even given homework.
Ewart says there is a cultural shift which is gradually dissolving historical "shame" or embarrassment around sexual pleasure.
"Things are definitely changing. We are seeing more acceptance and communication around sexuality, pleasure and intimacy is on the rise. People are also prioritising their pleasure more and are open to people supporting them to more expanded states. I'm predicting that pleasure is now to the wellness industry what yoga was 30 years ago."
With celebrity sex therapists such as Dr Ruth giving the profession a higher profile, people are relieved to know there is professional help for issues.
"I've had some people cry with relief when they find that there is someone who can help them with their particular challenge. As our visibility as practitioners rises people are realising that there are trained professional who are able to support them."
There is still the embarrassment factor when people find out what she does for a living.
"There's always giggling, particularly from women. Some are highly intrigued and interested."
Known colloquially as a Pleasure Coach, Ewart is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker.
She trained at Australian based Institute of Somatic Sexology which provides accredited training for people in Australia, US, South East Asia and the UK.
"The course is six months and is part theoretical and part hands on. We spent three months learning online as group of facilitators, participants, coaches and guest facilitators. Everything we learnt we had to have experienced ourselves, so I have a felt appreciation for what my clients go through. I understand the courage it takes to walk through my door ... meaning we did a month of orgasmic yoga practice. We then spent three weeks at an intensive retreat where we once again both experienced and taught."
Her number one goal is to provide a safe non-judgmental space for people to learn in.
Ewart, 44, works from home in the Lower Kaimais.
As a parent, she believes it is essential to create safe non-judgmental places for children and teenagers.
"Shame is created by judgment, sometimes of ourselves and generally by other people. By making it known that we will love and accept them regardless of their sexuality or gender choices we create connection and acceptance.
"Personally I encourage my children to have great body image and to be comfortable in their own skin, leaving our judgments at the door. Using gender neutral language, opening up to the possibilities of having both girlfriends or boyfriends. By being age appropriate with our information ... sometimes being too open with information, if they haven't asked for it, can create the very thing we are trying to avoid ... talking to them about desires and boundaries at the appropriate age and knowing that consent is a conversation we can have at any age."
Wild Women's Weekend
WHAT: Wild Women's Weekend
WHERE: Whangamata, Coromandel Peninsula
WHEN: Friday-Sunday, May 17-19
Tickets and more information at www.wildwomensweekend.co.nz
Weekend Schedule:
Terri's sessions are just one of the fun events on offer at the weekend.
Friday, May 17
6pm Whanga Bar with Vegas Brown
Saturday, May 18
8.30am Wentworth Valley Walk
9am Whenuakura Kayak/SUP Tour
12 noon Fast Fours Doubles tennis
12 noon Wild Wacky Golf
6pm Dinner at Ocean Sports
9pm. 80s Night Smoky Pallet
Sunday, May 19
10am Yoga Real You at the tennis club, Barrowclough Rd
11.30am Terri.E The Sexologist upstairs at The Whangamata Club, Port Rd
1pm Breast Cancer Awareness High Tea, held at the Ocean Sports Club located at the wharf
What is the Wild Women Weekend?
Whangamata locals Shaun and Diana Fay, who are the driving force behind the event, say it is "simply a weekend for women who want to have fun and kick up their heels".
The concept of Wild Women's Weekend is known throughout the world, with similar events on the east coast of Australia and in the United States.
"Women come to Whanga for a getaway together anyway, and we thought it'd be good to organise some fun things for them to do, so they don't have to find activities themselves," Shaun says.
"We expect a cross section of all ages, mothers and daughters, groups of friends. Feel free to dress up and go all out, and be as wacky as you want to be. Just be you and have a good time!"
It all starts with a weekend warmup at the Whanga Bar with drinks, good food and live music. The next day, you can enjoy a tranquil bushwalk together, or go kayaking or stand-up paddle boarding instead. A fun game of tennis or golf are options, too.
Another highlight will be the dinner and show at Ocean Sports by the Wharf on the Saturday, which Shaun says is a great spot with a million-dollar view.
Live music on the night will be provided by X Factor finalist Sarah Spicer, with back-up from The Blue Riders.
The 'wild ones' enjoy an a la carte menu specially created by Ocean Sports head chef Dennis Matthews. The final event of the weekend is a fundraising high tea on Sunday also held at Ocean Sports, with handmade cakes and goodies to enjoy in a relaxed environment.
There will be guest speakers, raffles, and spot prizes and all proceeds go to the Breast Cancer Foundation.
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