Parenting Matters - Column

Tissue issue driving us potty
When I was young and reckless I stole a roll of toilet paper from a pub, smuggling it out under my long, winter coat.
It was one of those huge ones with the girth of a large dinner plate and somehow the sheer size of it appealed to my sense of humour.
But I am not laughing now.
Because in our female-dominated house, we could do with one. A whole six-pack, in fact.
Ever since Miss Two has started using the toilet, our daily consumption of toilet paper has skyrocketed, to the point where we are getting through a roll a day.
Which has only added fuel to the debate that women use more toilet paper than men.
"What do you do with the stuff? Eat it?" is one of hubby's favourite catchphrases.
"No, I feed it to the children," I am tempted to reply.
Which wouldn't be too far from the truth.
Because they are certainly quite hefty consumers.
In the case of Miss Two, it has less to do with her gender and more to do with her technique.
One forceful tug on the roll sends it spinning - and it can take more than one tug before she achieves breakage.
It is not uncommon for her to fill the whole bowl with what is rapidly becoming white gold in our household.
With Miss Four, more is just, well, more.
No longer can I blame the only male in the house for leaving behind an empty loo roll.
And the savings we are making in nappies are, quite literally, going down the S-bend.
Telling the girls that toilet paper doesn't grow on trees is not going to wash with them. Because, duh, it does.
As the girls get older I can see the debate widening.
Allegedly those who scrunch and those who prefer their toilet paper to hang over the roll - of which I am guilty of both - inevitably end up using more toilet paper.
And, as I have been the one predominantly overseeing the girls' toileting, they have followed in my footsteps.
The good news is that "Over-Rollians" are, it is claimed, more likely to have higher incomes.
In the long term that's more disposable income to spend on, err, disposables.
But in the meantime I think we should make an investment. In some long winter coats.