Suicide bereavement support coordinator Glenda Light is hoping people bereaved by suicide can help others. Photo / File
Suicide bereavement support coordinator Glenda Light is hoping people bereaved by suicide can help others. Photo / File
Suicide can be a traumatic and harrowing ordeal for those left behind but a new group set up in Tauranga hopes to help loved ones work through the experience.
But the group needs help.
Suicide bereavement support coordinator Glenda Light has begun pulling together volunteers who have lived through suicide bereavement to partner up with people newly bereaved by suicide.
Light, who works at Tauranga Grief Support Services, already has eight volunteers who will act as suicide bereavement peers but she hopes for more - especially people with Māori or Pacifika roots.
"Everyone of them said that for them at the time, it would have been really special to talk to someone who knew where they were at. Someone who's walked in their shoes," she said.
The sentiment was echoed by Grief Support Services clients, which served as inspiration for the group, she said.
"It's about normalising that sense of the different emotions and you know when someone is bereaved by suicide, there's a lot of sense of abandonment and rejection. Helping the newly bereaved understand that that's okay, that's all part of it."
Light said that aside from the emotional support, a peer could also help with practical things.
Examples included people left behind who have to take on the business books, or manage the banking when they had not necessarily done any of that before, Light said.
"Plus, there's that social stigma people have around suicide," she said.
"There's grief and there's a public acceptance of that but the grief we are talking about is disenfranchised grief, where there's not really that public acceptance."
Suicide affects many people all through New Zealand and many, like those pictured, actively work to try to prevent suicide with campaigns and marches such as last year's Hope Walk. Photo / file
A total of 112 people were believed to have died by suicide in Tauranga and the Western Bay of Plenty between July 1, 2013, and June 30, 2018 - the most recent figures available.
Of those, 79 were men and 33 were women. The 40 to 49 age range carried the largest number of suicides, at 27 people - nine women and 18 men. The deaths included suspected suicides still being investigated.
Light said the people who volunteered could experience a sense of personal healing themselves by listening to others. They could also find listening to another person's trauma challenging, which was partly why she needed more volunteers.
"I need a big group to lighten the load."
Light said she also hoped to attract more men and people with Māori or Pacifika heritage to help offer more diversity. The peers would not act as counsellors, but would be a significant help to people bereaved by suicide, she said.
Peers would be trained and work on a buddy system with those who need them.
Light said the group had not been named yet, as she hoped they would create a name for themselves. For some volunteers, it was a chance to also help their own grief management.
"Many said that by volunteering, they were honouring their loved one's memory and also giving back and being purposeful."
The group has the support of the Bay of Plenty District Health Board, in which suicide prevention coordinator Renee Wilton and mental health portfolio manager Caleb Putt worked to help create the group.
The support group - of people bereaved by suicide helping those newly experiencing it - is believed to be the first purposefully backed by a DHB, in New Zealand.
"It is everyone's hope that this will be successful and prove a new way forward in supporting those experiencing this unique grief," Wilton said.
Anyone who thinks they might be able to help can contact Glenda by emailing her at glenda@griefsupport.org.nz.
Help is at hand
Tauranga: Waves After Suicide Programme The next programme starts on May 4 from 5.30pm to 7.30pm. Please call to book. Call Denise (07) 578 4480 or support@griefsupport.org.nz. For more information email admin@griefsupport.org.nz or (07) 578 4480.
Where else to get help: If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.
Or if you need to talk to someone else: 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7) https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7) KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7) WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm) DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
