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Home / Bay of Plenty Times

Michele Hunter: Talking about problems is the new 'she'll be right mate'

Bay of Plenty Times
10 Jun, 2022 10:00 PM4 mins to read

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A non-alcoholic mojito - the author's favourite cocktail.  Photo / Supplied
A non-alcoholic mojito - the author's favourite cocktail. Photo / Supplied

A non-alcoholic mojito - the author's favourite cocktail. Photo / Supplied

OPINION

Just as alcohol-free is becoming an acceptable drink selection at Kiwi bars, talking about your problems – in fact sharing them with the whole country - is becoming the new bottle-it-up and 'she'll be right mate'.

Maybe it's a shared tricky life experience – like a pandemic – that's really got people talking about all the other collective battles Kiwis face, but don't tend to discuss honestly. Battles that go on behind most closed doors, but aren't comfortably normalised in the same way Covid paranoia, mask hatred, vaccination status and that first household positive have been.

This week I listened to a parenting podcast with Coast radio host, Jason Reeves, about his journey from healthy husband to desperate dad bod and back again. Sounds very women's magazine, but it's the first time I've heard a weight loss story explained quite like it.

It wasn't illustrated by dramatic before-and-after photos (although I googled them afterwards) ... but the reality of how busy Kiwi parents put aside their own mental and physical health for the sake of the kids, and the price everyone pays for that.

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More interesting (or perhaps more pertinent to me), though, was comedian and TV show host Dai Henwood's recent "Sober Chat" podcast about why he gave up drinking two and a
half years ago, and the impact that's had on his relationship and career.

He's one of a growing number of Kiwis taking a stand in their booze battle, for good – and telling everyone all about it. Interviewer– Lotta Dann (the famous sober blogger turned author) asked him if he thought it would be damaging to his career to announce he was a teetotaller.

Among other things, he said most of New Zealand's adult population was either struggling with alcohol or knew someone who was. He's a better comedian for giving it up. A better partner too, he says.

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Next week TV journalist Paddy Gower is presenting a documentary aimed at making Kiwis think about the way they drink and why they do it. He promises to bare all regarding his own drinking too.

Sir John Kirwan probably led the celebrity charge pre-pandemic when he broke the All Blacks' code of bravado and spoke of his experiences with panic attacks, depression and anxiety.

I wouldn't say it's done him any harm. In fact it's boosted him to his current standing as the country's most famous active relaxer – teaching us all that relaxing doesn't have to be sedentary – there is an active equivalent for those who struggle with the concept of Netflix and chill – it just looks different.

The bare-all topics being explored are widening, too – mental health, parenting, the booze culture, middle-age spread. Instead of these painful realities being satirised on a fridge magnet or joked about over a vino, the harmful truth is starting to be shared.

This brings me back to alcohol-free drink selections.

I was surprised the other night when I visited a long-established Mount Maunganui watering hole and asked to see their non-alcoholic options. Expecting to be offered a "syrup and soda water special" from the Coke mixer, instead I found a non-alcoholic mojito (my favourite alcoholic cocktail) among the offerings.

The bartender then announced she was going to get a "nicer glass". She was gone so long I was concerned she was serving actual alcohol-consuming customers at the other bar, but when she returned it was worth the wait.

She had prepared a beautiful glass filled with ice, lemon and a sprig of mint – close to the real mojito thing. If I'd suggested non-alcoholic at the same bar 10 years ago, I'm sure it would have been fizzy mixers only – sans alcohol.

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Small steps away from old habits add up. Talking about our collective struggles openly isn't just for the celebrities, although thanks go to them for leading the charge.

The uncomfortable truths of an age-old "sweep it under the carpet" culture can be challenged by all of us - let's stop buying the fridge magnets and start talking about what's really going on come wine o'clock.

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