Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: This Christmas, spare a thought for partners of New Zealand’s MPs

The job of a Member of Parliament is hard on partners, writes Merepeka Raukawa-Tait. Photo / NZME

OPINION

‘Tis the season to be jolly.

End-of-year parties are starting to crowd our diaries and we know summer holidays are just around the corner. Bosses will be thanking staff for the hard yards they put in during the year.

It’s a year that would not have been without challenges for most businesses. I hope political party bosses, when thanking MPs for their work this year, don’t forget to give a big sincere thank you to their partners.

Every MP I have known well, past and present, has made a point of telling me they couldn’t do the job without the support of their partners. This I believe. There are few other jobs where so much additional responsibility is picked up by a partner.

MPs are away from home every week, unless they are fortunate to live in Wellington. Bringing up children with a parent absent so often would not be easy. Factoring in FaceTime calls during the week must help but there is no substitute for being there in person.

I suspect all home issues would be attempted to be resolved first, before worrying a busy MP sitting for long hours in the house or out and about in the electorate. The hoped-for family time in the weekend can only occur if nothing else in the community requires the MP to be present.

Community events happen most weekends and MPs know the community expects them to turn up.

One former long-serving MP told me he now regretted not saying no sometimes. The number of family celebrations he missed because other functions and events required his presence had impacted his family. He said years later they shared how upsetting it was not to have him at important family celebrations.

I suspect for children of MPs there will be times when they don’t care that their parent is an MP they just want them home with them.

Partners keep the home fires burning. They know when the family must keep the noise down and when sleep and rest are necessary for a weary MP.

And they try to keep the home environment as stress-free as possible. Partners are trusted, they have to be. They hear it all. The fears and doubts of the job, what they think the public think of them, the hurt they feel when abuse is hurled, knowing there can be no retaliation.

Partners have their back.

There is help and support provided for the partners of new MPs, usually by other partners, and I’m sure this is helpful but just as an MP’s job is 24/7, so too is that of an MP’s partner. They have to have staying power.

The last three years have seen many MPs of all political parties on the receiving end of nasty abuse from a public that is Covid-19 weary and uncertain of what the future holds. People have been lashing out and taking their frustration out on MPs because they are visible. It has to be “their fault” that interest rates have gone up, prices are increasing and families are having trouble making ends meet.

An MP’s partner hears it all, every weekend when the door opens, “darling I’m home”.

I think an MP’s job description is in reality a job share. Next year is an election year. I hope all MPs will come back in the new year well-rested. It will be another hard year for our decision-makers as New Zealand continues to focus on economic and social recovery.

The partners of MPs deserve a great summer break too. They know they’re in for a full-on year.

MPs would struggle without them by their side. Their support is unwavering.

- Merepeka Raukawa-Tait has worked in the private, public and non-profit sectors. Today she writes, broadcasts and is a regular social issues commentator on TV. Of Te Arawa, Merepeka believes fearless advocacy for equity and equality has the potential to change lives.