Love is in the air for romantics

It's that time of year again when shop windows are full of red love hearts and soft toys abound. As cupid prepares to strike, Julia Holmes looks at romance - or the lack of it - in the Bay.
With just a couple of days until Valentine's Day, it's time to start wooing the man or woman in your life.
First stop for ideas - the internet.
But rather than provide flirtatious facts to help lovers rock each other's worlds, a quick search for love tips throws up, ermm, just plain, old rocks - fossils in fact.
Radiocarbon dating heads the list of recommended websites for "dating techniques" followed closely by some rather, shall we say, unsavoury sites.
The lack of information provided by the New Zealand-specific search engine used would suggest that us Kiwis either already know all there is to know about affairs of the heart, or we just don't care.
With the easy option ruled out, it was time to hit the street - but again we turned up rocks. This time, the kind you wear on the third finger of your left hand.
According to Chris Teague, manager of Michael Hill Jeweller on Devonport Rd, 'tis the season for getting engaged. "A lot of people buy engagement rings around this time," he says.
"People choose all sorts of locations (to propose), from on top of the Mount to a crowded dance floor. People either want to do it quietly or where everyone can see."
Other popular Valentine gifts are heart-shaped jewellery and personally engraved items.
"They buy all sorts. One guy bought his girlfriend a watch for 'the time I spend with her'."
And if there are Valentine's Day engagements it must follow that there are Valentine's Day weddings.
Marriage celebrant Christine Grant is marrying two couples on Monday, a quiet day compared with the five ceremonies she performed last year when Valentine's Day fell on a Saturday.
"The first wedding was at 6:30am and the last at 7pm. I loved it, I am very passionate about what I do."
This year's Valentine's couples are both "romantics very much at heart", she says. "They look on it as a day of love."
However, many marriage celebrants spoken to by the Bay of Plenty Times have empty diaries for February 14.
Justice of the Peace Raewyn Weller, who chairs the Bay of Plenty branch of the Celebrants Association New Zealand, says, "I have done Valentine's Day weddings for the past two years but they were both on weekend days. I'm not doing any this year."
Linda Hepburn of The Bridal Shop is busy with February weddings but also has no Valentine's Day brides. "We had about six last year but I don't know of any this year," she says.
Having a romantic day doesn't have to involve a white dress and a veil.
Averill Richardson, clinical leader at Bay of Plenty Relationship Services says we should make more time for romance in our everyday lives.
"Valentine's Day is an absolutely beautiful day. For a long-term relationship to work well you have to have a lot of fun and romance. There are, of course, things like trust and communication and all those normal things but on a special day like this it is really geared for romance," she says.
"Often so much of our lives are spent doing day-to-day stuff. All great relationships need great occasions. For a lot of guys it's very easy to be romantic on a day set aside for it. It's harder for the rest of the year but they can learn.
"Valentine's Day is a way of cherishing, valuing and telling each other how important you are in each other's lives."
And we don't do enough of it, she says.
"There are lots of gorgeous cards these days and then there are the little fluffy toys but it could just be a telephone call or an unexpected surprise."
This could be leaving a surprise under the pillow, a promise, or setting a date to do something special.
"For singles it's a safe day for testing. If you're attracted to someone you can check it out. For those of us who are single we should celebrate people in couple relationships. We should be giving and supportive."
T HE Love Boat Charity Ball this evening, organised by Relationship Services and being held at Hotel on Devonport, will help set the mood for some.
But for those who aren't getting engaged, married or tripping the light fantastic, what is likely to be the order of the day?
Chocolates, red roses and cuddly toys still reign supreme, according to florists and gift shops such as Cabbages and Kings.
"Chocolates have a chemical reaction that feels like being in love," says manager Val Auld.
"People also buy soft toys, something cuddly and affectionate. Women tend to buy earlier in the week. Men are more last-minute. Friday, Saturday and even Monday. We have also had women buying for their daughters - not just necessarily romantic connotations."
Lauren Cooke, of Living and Giving, is also selling plenty of chocolates, teddy bears and artificial roses.
"There have been a lot more mature women in their 30s, 40s and 50s coming in. People are putting more romance back in their lives. They are not afraid to tell people they love them," she says.
At Petite Petals, florist Lana Robertshaw finds it is mostly men buying for women, although women who order flowers are more likely to be single and sending them to a prospective love interest.
Red roses are by far the most popular - either single, half-dozen or a dozen.
Those who not saying it with flowers are saying it with other scented gifts.
"Men and women are both buying fragrances. It's a nice luxury, a special gift to get," Jan Kendrick of Life Pharmacy Tauranga says.
Curiously, at Paper Plus Books in Tauranga, many people are buying two Valentine cards, sales assistant Elizabeth Murray says.
Some are likely to contain vouchers for some extra special pampering, as beauty treatments become a popular treat for both women and men.
"It's always nice to pamper your loved one - with massages, facials and body treatments," Jamele office manager Donna Leach says.
"More women are buying for the man in their life. Men are taking a better interest in their appearance and are more aware of protecting their skin from the sun and the elements and, as such, their wives and partners are keen to encourage them.
"Some people have even booked their partners in for a surprise on the day," she says.
But maybe all that lying around on massage tables and indulging in chocolates is making us a little too relaxed, as grand romantic gestures seem to be few and far between.
Peter McKenzie, of The Limo Company - the biggest limousine business outside Auckland - bemoaned the lack of Romeos (and Juliettes) in this fair city.
"This town is the worst for that. In the past five years I have never had a single Valentine's booking. I have worked around the country and even smaller centres seem to be more romantic. It doesn't seem to happen here. I think it's the fact that people are too lazy to do things. It takes effort and energy. People don't have the desire."
John Rendle, of Bay of Plenty Limousines, has a similar tale. "I haven't had any bookings yet.
"Valentine's Day is a fickle thing. You get years when a lot of people book cars and years when you don't have anything at all.
"I don't know where all the romantics have gone. There is a lot to be said for any man who's romantic."
If you are single and seeking a partner, February 14 can be a good time to take stock of your love-life, in much the same way as we make New Year's resolutions.
Susan Symes and Michael Wiseman recently set up what they say is a "much-needed" professional introduction service for the Bay of Plenty - Devonport and Associates.
"We have both experienced life without a partner and passionately believe that no one should be alone if they don't wish to be," Mr Wiseman says.
"The response has been amazing, confirming our view that there is no longer a stigma attached to this method of meeting a prospective partner.
"Membership is attracting 35 to 65-year-olds and most successful people in this age range don't have the time or inclination to hang around in bars or nightclubs in the hope of meeting someone."
For that all important first date, Ms Symes and Mr Wiseman have the following tips:
Meet in a coffee bar or cafe in a well-populated area. Avoid food halls as they are often noisy and distracting.
Women - be careful not to overdress. Smart casual is best. Men - be careful not to under-dress (speedos and jandals are not a good look).
Keep good eye contact and smile often.
Take a genuine interest in your date.
Remember, men and women all enjoy compliments.
If it goes well, arrange another meeting
Aha! I think we just found those dating techniques.
And not a fossil in sight.