KAPAI: The Chosen Land is right here and it's not exclusive

What a window of warm weather we have just walked through, it's only September and here we are sunbathing and swimming on the main beach already.
Well I think it is a great thing or is the shrouded veil of global warming leading us into a false sense of summer? Whatever it is, my first swim of the summer season was a beautiful baptism below my holy mountain and even the Exclusive Brethren would have been envious of my rapturous day.
But then again those Exclusive chosen ones have a lot in common with us Maori when you start following them around for a while. For starters they don't allow their woman to be audible in their whare karakia. They are secretive about their secrets, a bit like us fullas when it comes to not revealing where all the fat kina and sweet watercress can be They like to influence the political platform like us by throwing a few quid in the leader's pocket and they don't trust any one who is not from their tribe just like every iwi brotheren in the land.
The biggest similarity is that they believe they are the chosen ones to be rescued at Rapture time. Same as us because we have a secret corridor up on the end of Cape Reinga that will zoom us home in tu-tus when we make the saviour's short list.
Seriously, I wander what would happen if we started following them like they have been following us.
What would we find and where would it lead us? According to their Exclusive Brethren web page they live in a world without television, internet or radio because those things are all evil and they only eat with their own.
This I know to be true from a mate who was a storeman for a large Brethren-owned company at the Mount who imports bargains for everyone who shops at the Warewhare.
What a weird and wonderful world we live in, huh?
How narrow must a man's thinking become when he honestly believes that only 400,000 of the world's six billion will get the nod by the big fulla upstairs when it comes to calling it quits on Planet Earth?
Bit like those other weird and wonderful worshippers who wear a teatowel on their upoko (head) and share distaste for modern democracy.
And I guess in a pipi shell that's what these blinkered believers are all about. They have had the spirit of free thinking white-washed from their cranial clothesline and are now clones of clergymen who have twisted the teachings of Timothy 2:19 (The Lord knows those that are his).
History and possibly heaven are full of wise men who believe they know more about the ``big book'' than the author. Just look at all the global hot spots and the common denominator is religion, power and money, none of which reflect true spirituality.
Anyway, like my mate Jesus said to me the other day when I was having a korero with him: "When you can find joy in the face of a flower and feel the unconditional love of my father in prayer, then the pure light within you will guide your way home."
"Sounds sweet enough for me Bro," I told him and carried on cruising around the sun-soaked tracks of Mauao.
On the subject of homes and places to live, when will some out-of-the-square thinking developer chance his arm and his bank's leg by putting together a subdivision with the essential services we all want in life. Like a violent and drug-free screening before you can purchase a property and instead of pubs selling ugly juice, there are wellness centres offering real ale for the ailing.
Each dawn would be welcomed with morning Tai Chi together and in the evenings the streets would come alive with singing and dancing. The fragrances of frangipani would permeate the sidewalks as families rock `n' strolled the night away in safety.
Libraries would be as frequent as pokie machine parlours and playgrounds would be open 24 hours for children of all ages. Laughter would be the measure of a man's success and not a boy racer to be found anywhere.
Sound silly? Maybe, but why wait till heaven?
There used to be such a place called a motorcamp but they are about as rare as a male teacher at a local school these days and, by crikey, we need a lot more of them both.
I reckon my cuzzies on Matakana Island might have the answer to all of the above problems and I bet you won't find anything exclusive about the Brotheren over there because they already live in the chosen land.
Meantime I'm off to Milford Sound for a slice of serenity and to pen a Pulitzer prize-winner. Let me know if Jesus or his mate Elvis shows up while I am away.
Pai marire tommy@indigenious.org