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Home / Bay of Plenty Times

Kāhu ki Rotorua: Strong Christian faith key to Frasers' 60-year marriage

Roimata Mihinui
By Roimata Mihinui
Kāhu ki Rotorua·Rotorua Daily Post·
10 Mar, 2022 08:19 PM12 mins to read

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Kiri recently celebrated her 80th birthday with her beautiful whānau.

Public Interest Journalism funded through NZ On Air

Click here for English translation

Mārama nui a mahi kai riro i a noho

He tamariki nā te karaiti tēnei tokorua tangata a Dando me Kiri Fraser.

Ko tō rāua whakapiringa ki te Atua he mea puāwai mai i tō rāua taitamarikitanga, i te wā i tūtaki tahi ai rāua i tētehi hui karaiti i Te Puke e whitu tekau mā tahi o ngā tau ko pahemo.

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A te Maehe nei, te kotahi tekau mā whitu ka eke ai tā rāua noho ngātahitanga ki te ono tekau o ngā tau. Kua whakatahangia ngā kupu mihimihi mō tēnei rā nui nā te māuiui korona.

He kotahi tekau mā whā o ngā tau a Tangi (Dando) Hamuera Fraser, he iwa noa o ngā tau a Kiri Elinor Wihapi i tā rāua tūtakinga tuatahitanga i te marae o Ngāti Moko i Waitangi i Te Puke.

Ehara i te mea i tuia ponotia ai ngā ngakau i tēnei tūtakitanga engari he whakaipo kē. Tae rawa atu ki te kotahi mano, e iwa rau, e ono tekau, kua rua tekau mā whā te rahi o Dando, ā, kua kotahi tekau mā iwa te rahi o Kiri, ā, e kōrero tahi tonu nei rāua, e āta noho tahi tonu nei rāua.

Ki ngā huinga Karaitiana rāua tūtakitaki ai, nā wai rā ka kaha te whakatupu o te aroha ki waenganui i a rāua, ka mārenangia rāua i te tau kotahi mano, e iwa rau, e ono tekau mā rua i Te Puke i te whare karakia ki tua o te marae o Ngāti Moko. He tokowha noa iho ngā morehu o tā rāua mārenatanga hāunga a Kiri me Dando.

E ai ki a Kiri kia noho roa ai te mārenatanga, kia tapatahi te kōrero, kia ngākau pono te kōrero me te āta tiaki i te moni. Ki tā Dando, ko te mōhiohio ki te Atua te mea nui, tuarua, ko te aroha ki te whānau me te noho me ngā hoa e whai whakaaro rangatira ai ki a koe me tō māuriora."

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Me mātau hoki ai te tangata ki te whakapāhā, kia hūmarie ia, kia kāua e haria atu tēnā wairua taumaha hai hoa moenga'.

Dando and Kiri as newlyweds in 1962.
Dando and Kiri as newlyweds in 1962.

He tangata hōriri, he tangata ora te hinengaro a Dando he ahakoa he waru tekau mā rima ōna tau. He uri ia nō Ngāti Te Roro-o-te-rangi ki Owhata, he Ngāti Rangiwewehi waihoki ka tini ōna herenga whakapapa ki a Ngai Te Arawa otīā ki a Ngāti Whāoa i Te Reporoa.

Kai te kaha te tinana o Kiri, ka āhua ngāwari te hinengaro engari e koke whakatemua tonu ia, ka waru tekau mā tahi ōna tau a te hiku o tēnei kaupeka. He Tapuika, he Tūhourangi ōna kāwai rangatira.

Tokotoru ā rāua tamariki. Tokoono ā rāua mokopuna, tokowhitu ā rāua mokopuna tuarua. Kāore a rāua kupu whakanui i tā rāua rā mārena me te mea hoki kare kau rāua i āta noho ki te whakamihi rangatira ki tēnei tū āhuatanga whakaharahara. Ko te mea kē ko te hakoke whenua me ā rāua mokopuna, me ā rāua tamariki.

He tau-tawhito a Dando ki ngā mahi nehenehe, he mātanga hoki ia ki te kapa haka ki te whakangāhau tūruhi.

He whakahaere tari tā Kiri mahi i Kāingaroa me te tiaki i āna tamariki tokorua nei a Duane rāua ko Deanna, ka hipa te kotahi tekau mā rua o ngā tau ka whānau mai a Damon i a Kiri e mahi ana i tētehi kōhanga i Monokia i Rotorua.

"Mea mai taku māmā ki ahau, he mahi ngāwari te whakatupu tamariki, nā te mea he wahine mōhio kē ia ki te whakatakoto rautaki."

Ko te taha ki te moni kāore e raruraru ana, kua waia kē rāua ki te tiaki me te pena moni. Ko Te Hurinui rāua ko Rawinia Fraser ngā pou manaaki i ngā tamariki e pukumahi ana rāua, ko ngā mātua ēnei o Dando, kua matemate noa atu.

Ko te wā i noho ai rāua ki te whenua o Mareiha mō te toru tau tētehi tino kura nui ki a rāua, he mahi ngāhere te take i haere pēnā atu ai rāua ki Sarawak i Borneo.

"I te tau e rua mano haere atu ai ki tērā whenua ki te mahi, ka pau te rua marama i ahau e mahi ana, ka tae mai a Kiri, e toru tau te roa māua i taua whenua".

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Ko ta raua aroha, he aroha mauroa, he aroha pumau tonu.
Ko ta raua aroha, he aroha mauroa, he aroha pumau tonu.

He māhita tā Dando mahi ko te ako i ngā poumahi ki te tua rākau, te tapahi rākau kia kāua e hemo ai te tangata.

"He akoako hoki ngā tangata ki ngā mihini engari he rangatira kē rātou, ko te hunga tua rākau whoi anō – te koretake hoki! E tua kūare hōhā noa te mahi, kātahi rā!"

Engari anō a Kiri – kua tino whai taimā ia kia noho māori noa engari kare kau ōna hoa. " Nā wai rā ka whakatata mai ngā hoa rangatira o ngā tāne, he tino wāhine rātou me tā rātou aroha nui ki ahau kia peia atu te mokemoke!".

"Ka pā mai te whakamā nā te nui o tō rātou manaaki i ahau, he ahakoa haere ai mātou ki whea kāore e whakaaengia e rātou māku ki te utu i ngā nama". Ka rua, ka haria kētia ki ngā wāhi Māori ake nei, kāre e take ana te hari i ahau ki ngā wāhi tūruhi. Nā reira i mātau ai ahau ki ngā kai me te māuri o tērā whenua.

"Tino rite tahi nei tō rātou manaakitanga ki a tātou te Māori – he aroha nui". Engari a Dando, ka aroha, ka roa ia e mahi ana mai i te tau e rua mano kotahi mā rua ki te tau e rua mano kotahi tekau mā toru. Whoi anō.

Ko Dando tētehi o ngā pou mā te Pōari whakangūngū o te ngāhere.Ka riro māna ngā kaupapa mā te puku o te ika mai Taranaki ki Heretaunga tae rawa ki Wairarapa ki Te Whanganui-a-Tara e whakahaere.

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Ko tana mahi tuatahi a ngāhere nei i tāti i Kāingaroa me Waiotapu nō te tau kotahi mano, e iwa rau, e waru tekau mā whitu ka tāti tana mahi akoako ā pukapuka nei. Me te rahi o āna wāhi mahi ki Te Waiariki, Waikato, Kawerau, Raetihi me te King Country. I te tau kotahi mano, e iwa rau, e iwa tekau mā toru ka riro i a ia te tūranga rangatira whakahaere kaupapa i Te Papaioea.

He pou-mahi ia mā te Poari whakangūngū tae rawa atu ki te tau e rua mano, kātahi ia ka hoki atu ki Sarawak, nō mua i tēnei he poumahi ia mā NZ Forest Service.

"Ko ngā mokopuna te kōtihi o ngā kura nui, nō tā māua hokitanga mai i Mareiha kātahi anō māua ka mātau ai ki tā māua tangi whakamomori ki ā māua mokopuna, ka nui te whakangākau atu ki a rātou".

"Ka tāria ngā rā tiaki mokopuna me te hari o te ngākau hōtō inaianei ko te mea itiiiti o rātou he kotahi tekau mā ono te rahi".

"Kare he aha ki a māua te haere ki Te Whanganui-a-Tara ki te kohi i ngā mokopuna me te whakahoki mai ki te kāinga nei".

Ko tō rātou whakapono ki te karaiti me he maunga e kore e nuku ko tēnei me tō rāua murimuri aroha te poutokomana o tō rātou whare.

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Kua waihangatia e Dando tana ōhākī hai whakaaro aroha ki tōna whānau, he whakaaturanga kōhao hiko kia mātau ai ngā uri ki tō rātou whakapapa he mea whakapā atu ai ki ngā waka e iwa o te Māori.

"Me te ngāwari hoki o te kōhao hiko hai waha tuku mātauranga. Ka oho ake tēnei kōingo kia mōhio ai ahau ki taku taha Māori nōku i te kapa haka o Ngāti Rangiwewehi i te tau kotahi mano, e iwa mano, e whitu tekau mā rima.

Ko Trevor rāua ko Dina Maxwell ngā pouako, ā tū ai mātou i te Travelodge, whakangāhau atu ai. " Ka uhengamataiti mai etehi ki ahau whoi anō he uri ahau nō Whakaue me āna tokorima, nō Tuhourangi, nō Rangitihi, nō Pikiao, nō Te Rangiteaorere hoki".

Nā tōna āta kohikohi mātauranga mai, nā tōna āta whakahao mai kua rangatira katoa āna kete mātauranga hei kai mārō mō tona whānau.

E tika ana te kōrero mā rāua, mārama nui a mahi kai riro i a noho.

Dan and Kiri Fraser, who have built their life together on strong Christian beliefs, met as children when they accompanied their respective parents to a Christian convention at Te Puke more than 71 years ago.

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Next week on March 17 they will mark 60 years of marriage, but a planned celebration has had to be cancelled because of Covid.

Tangi (Dando) Hamuera Fraser and Kiri Elinor Wihapi were 14 and 9 when they first met at the Ngāti Moko marae of Waitangi on the outskirts of Te Puke.
Theirs was not an instant attraction but the connection grew as they got older.

By the 1960s when Dando was 24 and Kiri 19, they were courting. They had made intermittent contact during the intervening years at Christian convention meetings throughout the North Island.

They were married in 1962 at Te Puke, in the Apostolic Church across the road from Ngāti Moko Marae. Today, there are only four people living who attended the wedding — not including Kiri and Dando.

Kiri's recipe for a successful marriage is open and honest communication and being financially frugal with their money.

Dando's recipe is knowing God first, having a loving family and having friends that respect you.

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"You have to know when to say sorry and not to go to bed holding a grudge. Always be forgiving."

Dando is spry for a man of 85 and mentally sharp. He is of Ngāti Te Roro o te Rangi at Owhata and Ngāti Rangiwewehi with ties to Te Arawa whānui and Ngāti Tahu-Ngāti Whaoa at Reporoa.

Kiri recently celebrated her 80th birthday with her beautiful whānau.
Kiri recently celebrated her 80th birthday with her beautiful whānau.

Kiri is physically well but has occasional memory lapses. She will be 81 later this year. She is of Tapuika and Tuhourangi.

They have three children, six grandchildren and seven great grandchildren.

They have never made a fuss over their wedding anniversary and never had any special celebration. Instead, the couple preferred to take several overseas trips with their children and mokopuna.

Dando worked in the bush and forestry all his life and performed in Māori concert parties. Kiri worked in the Kaingaroa Administration Office whilst raising Duane and Deanna. When Damon came along 12 years later when Kiri was working at the Monokia day care centre in Rotorua.

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"My mum said it was easy to raise kids, as she had a set routine and was very organised." The couple did well financially because they both worked and were frugal. Babysitting help came from Dando's parents, Te Hurinui and Rawinia Fraser.

Asked what a standout period in their life was together they agreed it was a three-year stint in Malaysia where Dando was hired as a forestry consultant. He was working in the state of Sarawak in Borneo.

"I went over there for a job in June 2000 and Kiri came over two months later. We were there for almost three years."

Dando was there to train forestry workers how to fell trees directionally, so that they fell without endangering lives.

"We were also to train machine operators, but they were fine. The tree fellers, though — kore take.

"They would just chop a tree down without knowing where it was going or if it could be retrieved."

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Kiri, though, found herself for the first time in their marriage with time on her hands and in a place where she knew no one.

"But the wives of the workers were lovely. They went out of their way to make sure I did not feel mokemoke.

"I used to get whakamā because they wouldn't let me pay for anything and they took me everywhere."

The women didn't take her to touristy places but to areas used by the locals and introduced her to their food and culture.

"Their manaakitanga was like ours so after a while I felt really good with them."
Dando continued to work fulltime until about 2012-2013.

For the Forestry Training Board, he conducted and supervised programmes from the Central North Island, from Taranaki across to Hawke's Bay and the Wairarapa and down to Wellington.

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He started working in forestry around Kaingaroa and Waiotapu then took up training in 1987. He worked throughout the Bay of Plenty, Waikato, Kawerau, Raetihi and King Country. In 1993 he became training supervisor in Palmerston North.

Dando worked for the Training Board until 2000 when he went to Sarawak. Before he began with the Training Board, he worked mainly for the NZ Forest Service.

"But the highlight for me has been my moko. When we came back from Malaysia, I realised what we had missed.

"I couldn't wait to babysit and now the youngest is 16 or 17. We would be going to Wellington to look after them or taking them back after having them here."

Their Christian faith has never faltered; indeed, it has grown stronger over the years. That and their love of family.

Dando has made an enduring legacy for his whanau — a Powerpoint presentation of their whakapapa in which he has linked his line to nine waka.

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"It's much easier on Powerpoint. I became really interested in whakapapa when I joined Rangiwewehi kapa in 1975 with Trevor and Dina Maxwell and we performed at the Travelodge.

"Some people looked at me sideways, but I descend from the five sons of Whakaue, Tuhourangi, Rangitihi, Pikiao, Rangiteaorere."

In his careful, methodical way, it is all recorded for posterity.

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