They say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
Similarly, you can lead a preschooler to dinner but you can't make her eat.
Dinnertime has become a battle zone in our house, with Miss Almost-Three refusing to eat, well, just about anything.
Despite all manner of coaxing and
theatrical performances on our part, she has put herself on a strictly all-white diet.
Plain pasta, white bread, vanilla yoghurt (no fruit bits) apple (without the skin) and the occasional banana.
Judging by her svelte frame, it could become the new celebrity diet.
The formula is simple. When you are served a meal, push your plate away and say: "Yuck." Or, eat two pieces of pasta and then push your plate away and say: "I don't like it."
And never, ever stay at the dinner table for longer than two minutes.
Instead, try doing a few star-jumps off the sofa while everyone else is eating.
Resist all attempts to make you eat, with a steely resolve. No matter how fun it looks, don't give in. So what if the food has been made to look like a smiley face? Pick the eyes out and throw them on the floor. And, no, it won't taste any better if it comes with an aeroplane soundtrack.
Don't give in to bribery and threats. Who needs pudding anyway? And an early night will do you good.
Follow these rules and you will be down to your target weight in no time.
Of course, when you are a preschooler, you are not doing it with weight loss as your goal.
Most likely it's because you had something else in mind for dinner. Like chippies, marshmallows and chocolate.
And then there is pure devilment. There is nothing funnier than watching your parents jump through hoops just to get a piece of carrot into your mouth.
Well actually there is - watching the steam come out of their ears when you spit it back out again.
Unsurprisingly the little madam eats like a horse in the morning. Going to bed on an empty stomach means breakfast is not only the most important meal of the day - it is THE meal of the day.
I wonder if I can convince her to eat roast beef, carrots and broccoli for breakfast?
