Grieving parents urge families to discuss organ donation

Te Mahi Luke Ahomiro, Te Rehutaimoana Ahomiro-Stewart, and Lovey and Hori Ahomiro. Photo / Supplied

The parents of a young mum whose life was cut tragically short say organ donation helped to cast a positive light on a dark period of their lives.

Tauranga couple Hori and Lovey Ahomiro are urging families to talk about the option of organ donation after their daughter Ngawari Charlene Ahomiro, 29, died of a brain aneurysm.

"She was athletic," Nga's mum Lovey said. "She would run up the Mount like it was just a trot up a hill. She played all the sports, had just started rugby and was loving it."

Two years ago, Nga suffered the brain aneurysm that would end her life.

"She was rushed to the hospital but she was already gone," Lovey said. "She went quickly."

It was then that the importance of a recent conversation revealed itself.

"One of our whānau members had needed a liver," Nga's dad Hori said.

"The family had all seen if they were compatible but they weren't and eventually he received the organ from Canberra."

Hori said the situation got the family talking about whether or not to donate their organs.

"We had the conversation and Nga said she would like to be a donor," he said. "That opened the door really."

Lovey said talking about their options meant it wasn't a difficult conversation when the time came to decide whether to donate Nga's organs.

The Tauranga mother was speaking out after the Organ Donation New Zealand Thank You Day 2018 - a day thanking organ and tissue donors and their families.

While Nga's parents and siblings agreed to fulfill Nga's wishes, not all of the Ahomiro whānau was as accepting.

"My father hit the roof," Lovey said. "He was from that tikanga traditional background and his belief was what you come into the world with, you go out with," she said.

"We tried to explain to him that she was just a shell at this time and it was her wairua that we wanted to keep alive."

Fortunately, Lovey's mother talked him around.

"He came back into the hospital the next morning and I just hugged him," Lovey said.

The couple later learned Nga's decision to donate her organs had saved four people's lives.

"I think the one which really got me was that a part of her liver helped a young boy," Lovey said.

"That mum got her baby back and that's wonderful. You can imagine she would've been on the brink, hoping and praying for something to help her boy. That was a really big positive for me."

Lovey said donating organs went against traditions, but she believed the family made the right decision.

"During Nga's short stay in hospital so many people that visited, or were touched by her story, changed their minds about organ donation," she said.

"It made a lot of people have second thoughts, especially our Māori people."

The Tauranga mother hoped their story would encourage others to have the conversation.

"Organ donation may or may not be right for you in your situation, but at least talk about it," Lovey said.

"Organ donation means others get a second chance at life. And there's no greater gift than that," Hori said.