Editorial: The fault of the highlights reel

Things are not always as they seem. Even your freshly cut grass isn’t living a perfect life. Photo / File

How incredible was the weather last weekend? I know, I know, only been writing for a month or so and already I'm leading with the weather! Stick with me, this is going somewhere beyond the mercury levels, I promise.

Last Sunday was the first day since winter that felt like summer. Everywhere there were hints of the hot days to come - days filled with ice-creams, sandy beaches and the smell of freshly cut grass. Hot days that ease into warm nights filled with barbecues and beers.

When I think about summer now, my head is always filled with the images of a thousand Instagram posts, of ice-creams and sunsets, toes in the sand. Picture perfect moments captured and shared with thousands in cyberspace.

But summer isn't always picture perfect, despite what Instagram would have you think. From painful sunburn and burnt sausages to being stuck in the office on hot days and sand's unique ability to get into every possible crack and cranny, these are all part of the summer months. Despite not getting hundreds of 'likes' on the internet.

Earlier this week an Aussie social media star, with half a million followers on Instagram, lifted the lid on what was involved in creating the picture perfect moments she was paid to post.

"Without realising, I've spent the majority of my teenage life being addicted to social media, social approval, social status and my physical appearance. Social media, especially how I used it, isn't real," Essena O'Neill wrote in an online post.

"It's a system based on social approval, likes, validation in views, success in followers. It's perfectly orchestrated, self-absorbed judgement."

"Our lives are complex and multi-layered. We're all just icebergs, floating around bumping into each other, with only 10 per cent of ourselves on show."

It's an ugly side of social media that those of us who've had more than 18 birthdays can see through a lot more easily. But that's not to say that we folk, who are practically ancient by comparison, don't get sucked into the same cycle of social validation. We, too, can fall prey to only posting the highlights reel of life - the best bits.

And it doesn't just apply to social media, either. As humans we naturally compare ourselves to others - their jobs, houses, wardrobes. And it's easy to assume that what you see is the sum total of their life. But it's not. Our lives are complex and multi-layered. We're all just icebergs, floating around bumping into each other, with only 10 per cent of ourselves on show.

I attended a Melbourne Cup luncheon with some colleagues earlier this week, all dressed to the nines and out to have a good time. One of my colleagues bumped into a mother from her child's school, who commented "Oh, your job is so glamorous. It must be so fun."

She was right, in a way - my colleagues and I are privileged to go to a number of fancy events around town each year. And there are parts of what we do that really is fun. But at the same time, we couldn't help but laugh about the comment later that night, as it ticked past 9pm and we were both back in the office, sober, high heels cast aside.

I guess my point is, we all need to be careful not to assume that what you see, online or not, is how it is. Things aren't always as they seem. And maybe we'll all be a little kinder if we remember.

After all, as Science Illustrated reported late last year, even that delicious cut grass smell we all love so much is actually a chemical distress signal - tormented blades of grass communicating with each other as they're sliced apart!