Editorial: Just how friendly are we to our kids?

New Zealand has just been voted the friendliest place on the planet according to a recent survey of expats.

Maybe none of them has kids.

When it comes to our children, Kiwis are not that friendly. Whether it's a serious issue like our shocking child abuse statistics, or a hot debate about whether kids should be allowed in Mount cafes, if you haven't reached double figures, you're a second class citizen in New Zealand.

How friendly really are we to children? Sure, most of us are horrified at our child abuse hall of shame. But it doesn't stop it happening. This summer the nation's collective skin crawled when we heard how a 5-year-old, attacked in her caravan, was left with "significant and heart-wrenching" injuries. We send teddy bears, flood the message boards with outrage, but in a few months it is forgotten like the other names.

The legal system seems to protect the perpetrators of crimes rather than their young victims. The bully allegedly hit by her victim's mum gets off while the mum is charged. The celebrity comedian who molested his daughter in her sleep is commended by the judge for making people laugh, and - the latest - the Turangi 16-year-old who pleads guilty to charges of burglary, grievous bodily harm and sexual violation is noted by the judge for being smartly dressed.

While the parents of Sophie Elliott have their victim statements edited to make sure they don't upset her murderer, the mother of the Turangi accused is allowed to read his karakia. Do we really respect children? Consider this week's hot debate on the Bay of Plenty Times message boards about the family that we reported was kicked out of a Mount cafe because their baby was making noise.

I am horrified at some of the selfish comments about kids from people who think the "noisy brats" should be compartmentalised in life, that they can go and play in nasty plastic playgrounds but don't belong in a nice environment. According to these posters, sharing happy conversation, making noise, that's just for adults.

What does this say about our attitude to children? In much of Europe it is unheard of to go out to eat without your kids. Children know how to behave and adults accept them. Is it such a coincidence that this more tolerant attitude goes hand in hand with lower child abuse statistics? It's not I want to bring my screaming darlings for a fluffy just to curdle your eggs benedict. In this incident, the baby was merely being a happy baby. People annoy me too but in a public place I tolerate them.

I'm with JohnNBelinda Tuki: "Life is noisy. Want dead silence? Go to a cemetery."

Sadly that is where too many of this country's children have ended up at the hands of adults. Not such a friendly place is it?