Do anything you want for your retirement

Will Johnston, host of The Hits 9am-3pm radio show. Photo/George Novak

Retirement. There's a lot of it about, especially in this slice of heaven.

Glasses on team (so you can read this. Stop holding it at arm's length). Cuppa made (milky, so it's not as strong, really goes through you these days). Radio turned down (or at least hearing aid taken out so you can't hear anything anyway).

For those below 'retirement age' (whatever that is) it's something that's bloody ages away and doesn't warrant too much intense thought.

For those in its warm embrace (similar to the soft embrace of a well-worn woollen beige cardie, I imagine) it seems to be a whole new world of possibilities.

People live longer, the world is more accessible, you don't have to travel to London to see your grandchildren, they're Skype-able... They love talking to you on camera, even though they've given up explaining to you that you need to be further away from the camera so they're not talking to a giant left nostril.

What about when you first hit retirement though? That would be super-exciting, but also a stark reminder of your own mortality. You've hopefully saved enough coin that you're comfortable, you've ticked off a large list of life goals and you've made a difference through your work.

No matter how much you deny it to yourself and others, it's the beginning of the end.

Oooooh, doom and gloom, I know. If humans had a harder demeanour it would be called 'Last Life Stage'. But that's not a bad thing.

My parents have just retired. Mum finished up at work on May 4. So she's a retirement infant. She's also confused about what the hell to do. All the suggestions we send are knocked down (politely), generally followed by: "I just want to spend a little time catching up on life".

I get that. Don't we all? When it comes to your brain and ageing, if you don't use it, you lose it. Take three months, chill, sleep in, spend the day in your undies, act like a teenager left at home alone for the weekend (except this time you don't have to steal your parents' booze). Go nuts.

But then would you not want to re-focus so you don't waste your latter life? You worked hard for this moment. Buy some stuff you don't need, dye your hair a colour that would make your children embarrassed to be seen with you, prank call a talkback radio station, get drunk on a Monday. If not now, then when are you going to do it?

I 100 per cent expect to look back on this article when I get to retirement age and laugh (at 32 I'm literally halfway there).

What would I know about how it feels? What perspective could I possibly have? Maybe that's the point. Let go of rational thought and do what it is you want to actually do... it's not like you can be fired!

* Will Johnston is host of The Hits 95FM Day Show. Live and local from 9am till 3pm, every weekday in the Bay.