Dame Susan Devoy: Parents' right to know

There was some interesting debate at coffee this week.
Such is the rich tapestry of life that we have all have diverse and different opinions on matters and none more so when it involves the care and protection of our children.
A teenage girl's decision to have her school organise an abortion for her without letting her parents know has raised some serious and appropriate concerns.
The irony of all this is that the school needs a guardian's permission to administer paracetamol or venture on a school trip and we all know the monotonous form-filling exercise associated with that. But we can be excluded from being informed or granting permission for a child to be put on the contraceptive pill or have an abortion.
You can't place the blame on the school or the counsellor. Schools were designed to inform and educate our young people and now they have this complex responsibility of dealing with a whole raft of social issues.
Navigating the legal and ethical waters of any profession is difficult but especially in professions such as counselling. Counsellors are involved regularly with sensitive issues such as abortion, bullying and life-threatening concerns such as suicide.
If you really want someone to blame then you can always look to the politicians.
Under Section 38 of the Care of Children Act 2004, a female of any age can consent to an abortion.
Judith Collins, then in Opposition, put forward an amendment to prevent girls under 16 from having an abortion without parental knowledge. The amendment was voted down.
The act was introduced to encourage co-operative parenting.
I think it was a way to advocate for the children who become entangled in many of the custody battles that turn ugly and end up in family court.
But the new act emphasises the "responsibilities" both parents have towards their children, rather than the "rights" they may have as parents.
I'd like to believe that in this situation I would have a right to know and a responsibility to ensure the physical and emotional well-being of my child was paramount.
However, we all know that even the best parents in the world with the best children sometimes have trouble keeping the lines of communication open.
So in the event that I was excluded, I would be unhappy but grateful that there were compassionate professionals willing to fill the gap when teenagers made mistakes and for a whole lot of reasons felt unable to confide in their parents.
Personally, I don't believe teenage girls have the maturity to deal with such a decision on their own and it is morally right for a parent to be privy to such a life-changing event.
But it is easy to sit in judgment without knowing all the facts.
We all know there are dysfunctional families, environments where children and are unloved and uncared for and often children from these families - if you could describe them as that - find themselves over-represented in the teenage pregnancy statistics.
Even when the situation is dire and as much as it would hurt, it hurts more to know that our young children are able to alter the course of their lives without any input from the people who love them and understand them the most.
Sadly we may be mistaken when we believe we understand them. The law has changed that.
But it is a timely reminder to have another of those conversations about contraception and sexual behaviour before the horse has bolted.