Breast cancer survivor Deby Sowter with her daughter, Chaos & Harmony creative director Rebecca Anderson. Photo/supplied
Deby Sowter has a mammogram every year. Every other year, it's been a routine check-up, no different to a dentist visit. But late last year it was different.
"I could tell by the way the lady and student were looking at scan, that there was something they'd noted," Deby says.
And while a shadow on her mammogram is anything but ordinary, Rebecca says there was still something very ordinary, almost normal, about waiting with Deby, and Deby's close friend Ali, to hear the diagnosis.
"The doctor was late ... And I remember just sitting in the waiting room thinking 'the doctor's late so we can find out we've got breast cancer'. You know, it was quite a bizarre feeling. You're sitting there with everyone else with their clipboards, all waiting to find out the same diagnosis," Rebecca says.
Deby says she doesn't remember much of that appointment. "I think I was in shock a little bit.
"I remember the doctor drawing a picture and explaining about the invasive carcinoma grade 1 and how it had grown outside the cell. He checked it again and said they 'would be operating' within the next month."
Things moved quite quickly after that, skipping chemotherapy to head straight into surgery followed by radiation therapy. And yet the routine feeling of it all continued, Rebecca says.
"There's no history of breast cancer in my family or my husband's family and I had two people in my family diagnosed, literally within a week of each other. And so it all became very real and all of a sudden your whole world just shifted ... You go into this environment where everyone knows about breast cancer, but you're very new to it. So you're going through this system that is set up, and set up really well, but you're just another person going through it. Yet you're trying to deal with the emotions around it."
Deby's memory of that time mostly includes a lot of letters about appointments and simply "processing the word cancer".
"I remember crying a little and standing in front of the mirror - looking at myself and wondering what lay ahead for me," she says.
Deby underwent surgery on Christmas Eve to remove the carcinoma itself, along with some of her lymph nodes, and was discharged the following day.
"The most difficult part was being discharged Christmas Day - knowing I was coming home on my own and recovering over the Christmas period and how that would work as I live a little out of town," she says.
"The first few trips in the car were sensitive and required plenty of packing [to protect the wound from the seatbelt]. Getting dressed was also difficult at first and now, months later, I am limited in what bra I can wear, opting for as little restriction and uplift as possible. I miss my pretty bras!"
The lymph node scar is also painful at times, Deby says. "The scar whinges and the breast runs hot after the radiation therapy. Your breast changes - the one you knew is grieved, you say goodbye to it."
And while she's now cancer-free, Deby says her family, friends and faith were vital to her journey.
I felt enveloped by their encouragement and tangible love and care throughout. I also received amazing support from the Breast Cancer Society and hospital - many people have a story of cancer or of breast cancer and how they fought it or recovered from it.
It's all those survivors - past, present and future - that Rebecca was thinking about when she decided her high fashion shoe company, Chaos & Harmony, should also support Breast Cancer Cure, the national organisation dedicated to breast cancer research.
"We're out the other side, mum had cancer, now she doesn't, but you're still left with the emotion of what you went through. And now what does that mean for me, but more importantly what does that mean for my daughter?" Rebecca says.
"I think the main thing I realised going through this journey is that having breast cancer doesn't necessarily mean death. And that there's so much research and so much that they know now that they can get to it before it basically gets to you ... that research actually makes a difference to what will affect me in years to come and what will affect my daughter ... anything we invest in now is going to benefit those to come."
Chaos & Harmony is hosting a boutique breakfast at Postbank in Mount Maunganui on October 15 to raise money for Breast Cancer Cure.
"It's going to be a fine dining experience, a lovely time to connect with friends and people you don't know and just enjoy a really nice environment and meal with a beautiful group of ladies. And off course, all the funds raised are going straight to Breast Cancer Cure," Rebecca says.
Tickets are limited to just 50 and there will also be a silent auction for three exclusive one-off pairs of pink shoes.
I remember crying a little and standing in front of the mirror - looking at myself and wondering what lay ahead for me.
"We've got two high heel styles and one sandal in the beautiful pink colour that inspired our summer collection. We've created Freedom which, coming into spring and wedding/party season, are the perfect high heel," Rebecca says. "There's also the Passion heel which is a little bit lower in height and super-comfortable and easy to wear all day.
And then Boundary, a classic pink sandal which is just a bit of fun for the new season."
Chaos & Harmony is also donating 10 per cent of all sales of its pink summer styles this month, both in store at BlakChaos and online, to Breast Cancer Cure.
"Everything that we can channel in and make every cent count to be able to give them a really good donation will be amazing," Rebecca says.
For Deby now, life goes on, albeit with a few changes. She's on daily hormone suppressants to reduce the risk of cancer returning, and still has to take care with everyday tasks, such as gardening, due to the risk of lymphedema.
"My food tastes have also changed," she says. "I've cut out my sweet tooth and am eating a lot healthier, too.
"Each person's experience is quite different, because there are quite different levels, decisions and personal health responses and side effects from the treatment. But there is a huge amount of support and compassion for those fighting breast cancer and walking the road to recovery, which I will always be grateful for."
the details:
Chaos & Harmony For A Cure
Boutique fundraising breakfast, 9-11am, October 15, at PostBank, 82 Maunganui Road. Limited to 50 tickets only, $100 each, from BlakChaos on Maunganui Road or online at chaosandharmonyshoes.com. Ten per cent of all sales of summer pink styles, both online and in store, in October will be donated to Breast Cancer Cure.