Hordes of hoardings on Devonport Rd. Photo / Andrew Warner
COMMENT:
Yes we can. Let's do this. A new way.
Good, bad and ugly, the three(ish)-word slogan is a mainstay of elections everywhere, and local government is no exception.
But it ain't easy to pick something succinct and meaningful to serve as a rallying cry to voters, while also avoiding word salad and empty buzzwords.
City issues reporter Samantha Motion offers her slightly tongue-in-cheek opinions about some choice picks of slogans and signs in the hotly contested election races in Tauranga and Rotorua.
Sorry candidates, the prize for the Bay's best election slogan has already been won - by a 19-year-old barber.
So awed was Stacey Rose's competition by his catchy catchphrase - "Let's BANG This Out" - they decided not to run against him at all, handing him a Bay of Plenty Regional Council seat alongside four re-elected incumbents.
Fear not, there are plenty more oddball slogans still in the race, from Shona Delany's jingly "It's time, time to take the trash out" to Deborah Johnston's shouty "I AM the RIGHT Choice" and Waitsu Wu's slightly creepy "independent New Blood".
Christopher Stokes' "Ocean City" seemed pleasant but took on a grim hue after he answered a climate change question in a live-streamed candidate meeting with a comment that most of Tauranga's coastal residents would drown.
Mysteriously, when John Robson is running for mayor, he's "For Tauranga". When he's running for councillor, he's "For The Ratepayer". What does it mean?
Rick Curach wants you to "PICK RICK" because he's "sensible and reasonable". Points for the recyclable rhyme are cancelled out for choosing surely the bare minimum (though not a given, I admit) characteristics expected of someone seeking public office.
Looks like Tauranga's (welcome) wave of fresh female candidates went to the same slogan school.
Erika Harvey is "Principled. Fearless. Different". Anna Larsen has "Courage, compassion, connections". Heidi Hughes picked "Proactive. Community. Integrity".
Perhaps they got tips from Tony Christiansen: "Perseverance, Passion, Determination".
Rotorua's slogans are disappointingly bland with one notable exception. Thank you, Julie Kerry, aka "All the way with JK".
This slogan leaves me Entranced, Alarmed and Assuming it's a niche reference to 1964 presidential candidate Lyndon B. Johnson's "All the Way With LBJ".
Looking to hoardings, drivers will need roughly 27 passes to take in all the information on the Residents and Ratepayers signs featuring seven endorsed candidates, each named with pointers.
Helpfully, the billboard also provides the election polling date, presumably so voters know the deadline to finish reading the sign.
Shoutout to candidate BAM, who prioritised his policies and a two-thumbs-up photo over unnecessary details like his surname.
Back in Tauranga, Kelvin Clout's election signs have sprung up everywhere like multi-coloured mushrooms, in no fewer than seven colours, each with a slogan pithier than the last.
"Enable more housing" and "Free up traffic" are the pithiest but also seem like unrealistic promises for one person to make.
Steve Morris boldly forwent the opportunity to put his face on some of his hoardings, choosing instead images such as roads and tsunami sirens. Riveting stuff.
But none of them holds a candle to New Zealand's best election hoarding, featuring Masterton mayoral candidate Tina Nixon promising to "Slash the rates!" while armed with a chainsaw.
Unforgettable.
Tina Nixon’s mayoralty hoarding / Tobe Hooper, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974.
— NZ Film Parallels (@nzfilmparallels) August 7, 2019
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