Annemarie Quill: Trump uproar misses mark

Donald Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment is not the worst atrocity against women ever. Photo / AP

I've never seen such an outpouring of indignation on behalf of women than in the past month.

It was as though Donald Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment was the worst atrocity against women ever. It wasn't.

I don't rate his comment.

But I don't see it as encouraging or endorsing assaults on women.

During the course of life, I've heard similar comments from many, many men - and women. It doesn't make it right.

You could argue you would not expect it from a world leader. Are any of our previous or current world leaders, or in fact anyone at all, innocent of saying something crass in private?

Am I offended by it? No.

As a woman, that doesn't make me guilty of, as one pundit commented after the election result, "colluding in their own subjugation".

The outrage in the lead-up to the election did not influence votes - 54 per cent of Hillary Clinton's voters were women, and 42 per cent of Trump's.

I am glad that misogyny is making headlines. Women get their "pussy grabbed" every day when they are not paid equally to men, when the cost of childcare outweighs wages. When the role of child-rearing is not valued by society.

Yet it seems more women are feeling burned by Trump's comment than by the very real horror that in this country, one in three women are subjected to violence from a partner at some point in their lives. New Zealand police attend a family harm incident about every 5 minutes.

To all you women offended by Trump, I'm sure the third of women in New Zealand who are bashed or killed by their partner would appreciate some of your displeasure at one comment being redirected at the actual violence taking place against women in your street, work and community.

Please, Bay singer Hollie Smith's song for this month's White Ribbon appeal to end violence against women, has a very apt message.

"Know that you are not alone. Please."