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Home / Bay of Plenty Times / Lifestyle

Yvonne Lorkin: Weird visitors and a brand new teenager

By Yvonne Lorkin
NZME. regionals·
19 Jun, 2015 05:00 PM4 mins to read

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It appears demons have escaped the netherworld and run riot; credit card or eftpos?

It appears demons have escaped the netherworld and run riot; credit card or eftpos?

I should have known the day my son turned 13 was an ill omen.

That day, last week, we knew we'd well and truly entered the realm of goat-like smells, drop-crotch pants and a once flowing, excitable vocabulary being reduced to just "yip", "nup", "what?", "eh" and a grunty, sort-of "uurr" sound. While not pleasant, I'm okay with that.

But the same day our ancient hot water cylinder gave up the ghost and flooded the linen cupboard and hallway.

It was merely the start of a satanic sequence.

While waiting for the plumber to arrive I loaded up the dishwasher, pressed start and it promptly pumped buckets of bilgy water across the floor.

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While I waited for the appliances guy to come and inspect, I thought I may as well vacuum the bits of floor that were still dry.

This is when I discovered the expensive, motorised-head thingummy was cracked and it wouldn't attach to the sucky bit properly (you'll note my mastery of vacuum vocab).

Fifty-two dollars just to give it to the vacuum guy to look at later, I felt like I was falling into an endless debit column.

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Plus there were the presents, the paintball game fees and the dozens of birthday pizzas to pay for.

And then, oh joy, my german shepherd decided to come on heat for the first time and that just sprinkled an extra-awesome layer of yuck factor to everything, didn't it.

"She's buggered," said the plumber.

"She's all bunged-up and leaky," said the appliances guy.

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"We won't have your vacuum cleaner fixed for 10 days," said the vacuum guy, shrugging.

"Put nappies on your dog and lock her up for three weeks," said the cheery pizza place girl who had eavesdropped on my cellphone conversation with the vet. Later that night, knackered and looking for an understanding ear, I picked up the phone to call my mum.

There was no dial tone and a flashing light signalled "network error".

Needless to say, I needed good wine and fast.

SIPS OF THE WEEK

Unison Gimblett Gravels Syrah 2012, $49

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Highlighted as one of the 12 best reds to come from the Gimblett Gravels region in 2012, this syrah is just superb.

In fact, Unison had two syrahs in that selection, which is testament to the skills of Jenny Dobson in the winery and Philip Horn in the vineyard. Lifted green peppercorn, violet, intense berry and cherry characters and smoky, saucy oak scents set you on the right track to start, followed by deliciously dusty tannins, concentrated black fruit and a peppery finish on the final stretch. Lovely and built for the long haul.

unisonvineyard.co.nz

Black Barn Single Vineyard Hawke's Bay Riesling 2014, $38.90

They tell me this wine is a hit with visitors to the cellar door - and I can see why.

Bursting with tangy green apple, lemonade and limey flavours, this is a seriously juicy and beautifully balanced riesling.

Those who prefer a splash of sweetness in their whites will love this wine - which also has a rush of clean, zesty acidity to keep your mouth watering.

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blackbarn.com

Astrolabe Marlborough Pinot Gris 2014, $21

Punchy pear, juicy apple and green nectarine flavours are smashed together with peach and spicy quince characters to create a fresh, cleansing mouthfeel on the finish.

Winemaker Simon Waghorn is a wizard when it comes to crafting good gris - and this is a great starting point to his wines.

astrolabewines.co.nz

Villa Maria Cellar Selection Merlot Cabernet 2013, $17

Hands up who loves vibrant, fresh red wines that taste ripe and rumpty and ready for action? Here's one for you. Packed tight with plum, raspberry and smooth, spicy layers, this not only looks glossy and gorgeous in the glass, it has good grip and great personality. Plus it's gentle on the wallet - which is always a bonus.

Widely available.

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Stoneleigh Latitude Merlot 2014, $22

Anyone who says you can't make merlot in Marlborough clearly hasn't had the pleasure of twisting the cap off this smooth southerner. I like its distinct meaty, spicy, bitter cocoa characters, clinging tannins and ribsticking warmth.

Good stuff - and widely available.

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