Will Johnston: Cucumber prices and the art of pivoting

Six ninety-nine for a cucumber. Photo / Supplied

Seven dollars for a cucumber?

That's a no from me.

Besides my astonishment at the price of a telegraph cucumber – which after all is water wrapped up in a green skin (literally, they are like 95 per cent water) – I was also astonished that I'm of an age now where I even care about prices of veges and fruit. Who have I become?

So why do I care?

Well, I like cucumber.

Also, I understand the reasons behind the price and I try to "buy in season" and support local, but not at that price.

Everyone has their limit and that cucumber is mine.

But this is not about the cucumber, funnily enough.

This is about that word we hear a lot of at the moment …

No, not "Judith". Or "Todd". Not even "Simon", or "Aunty Cindy".

I'm talking about "pivot".

There's been a lot of talk lately about businesses needing to pivot in order to adapt to a world drastically changed by the arrival of Covid-19. Yes, businesses NEED to look for ways to earn money and attract customers that they may never have thought of but I walk that advice road with one hand on the railing though; no one really knows your business and your customers and how close you are sailing to the rocks like you, the business owner, does.

The real thing that I'm wondering about is are consumers actively trying to now not pivot - that they want the world to return to some sort of normality and return to a more "pivot-free" purchasing process.

I've said pivot too much. I'm basically Ross from Friends in that scene where they try to get the couch up the stairs! "Pivvvvvaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhttttt!" (Please YouTube this, even just to watch it again, it's still good)

As a consumer, I feel I want normality. I don't feel I need the gimmick to get my attention anymore, I don't even need a business to be creative anymore. I just need them to actually be open, have good stuff/services and to not be the most expensive. Unless I'm after a touch of luxury, then I'll splash out.

If your business needs to pivot to go back to basics and make people want to shop there with good products, prices and good service, then pivot away, my friend.

If you're already there in your business model then all I need is to actually know about it.

Yeah look, I'm not gonna stop shopping online occasionally either, but you should be online already, right? Like that's not a "pivot" is it? Surely not anymore. Even nana has the internet now. In fact, she's probably on it punishingly liking, commenting and subscribing to anything that's in her newsfeed.

Regardless of if we're in a slight bubble of financial security through wage subsidies, etc, and when all that ends and we go into the pit of doom that we're all constantly told we are heading for, people will still need to buy things. People still have wants. The Joneses still need to be kept up with …

Unless the Joneses are selling or have bought $6.99 cucumbers, then they can have them.