Right at home with learning

When school went back last week, many parents across the Bay let out a collective sigh of relief. But for some, it made little difference. Julia Proverbs talks to those who choose to have their children with them 365 days of the year

For 7.30pm on a "school night", the Koumakis household is remarkably quiet.
Luke, 7, and Hannah, 11, are playing happily on the floor. Christy, 13, is in her room doing her studies and, Rebekah, 15, is at ballet.
Mum Delwyn and dad Terry are enjoying a relaxing cuppa on a cane lounge suite in their spotless, contemporary Bethlehem home.
Without a hint of homespun or tie-dye, the Koumakis family is the modern face of home-schooling. Or, to quote one of the acronyms they like to concoct, RAPT (Royal Academy of Private Tuition).
Once thought to be the preserve of alternative, house-trucking hippies, home-schooling is becoming a lifestyle choice for a wide range of families, many of whom are, for want of a better word, surprisingly "normal".
The only "abnormality" here is the impeccable manners and decorum of the children. They are positively Walton-esque.
After a polite "hello", Hannah and Luke disappear and are not seen, or heard, again.
The couple chose to home-school five years ago, after an intense 18 months during which both worked fulltime. Living in Auckland at the time, they came out the other side feeling they had missed out.
"We just felt we had lost time with our kids," says Delwyn, who had previously done a lot of parent help at their school. "I had this idea come to me, that I would like to try it ... we found we all really enjoyed it."
Terry previously ran his own architectural business from home and now manages the Tauranga Barkers menswear store.
"We enjoy our kids and the idea of being able to spend more time with them appealed to us," he said.
As Christians, they also wanted to be able to "input" their beliefs. About 85 per cent of New Zealand families who home-school, do so for religious reasons, says Debbie Blair, of the Bay of Plenty Home School Support Group. Others are "transients" and "hardcore radicals".
Involved with the support group for more than a decade, she says the number of families has remained static but their profile has changed. In the past five years she has noticed an increase in families for whom it is their last choice.
"It might be a case of bullying at school ... or the kids have been stood down at school. It's not their first choice.
"It's last-ditch, desperate."
A mother of four, Debbie started home-schooling her eldest because he would have had to catch the bus to school at 7.30am when just 5.
Now 14, he started school last year.
"We thought we would wait until he was 6. The next thing he was 13 and having his first school photo on the deck."
He and his 13-year-old sister have integrated into the school system well, says Debbie.
"I've loved spending time with the kids. It's been great. They seem a lot happier at being themselves."
The Koumakis family belongs to Treasure Chest, a local home-school support group for Christian families. About 60 Tauranga families are members, of which a third meet up weekly, says co-ordinator Ngaire van Zweeden.
"We meet at different venues," she says. "In summer we do a lot of activities outside. The kids get to socialise with other kids and it's a support for mums.
"It's nice to meet with other mums doing the same thing."
Ngaire, who has six children aged 3 to 15, says it's not easy to pinpoint the reason she decided to home-school.
"I just enjoy having my kids at home."
For a child to be exempt from attending school, the Ministry of Education requires that he or she be "taught at least as regularly and as well as in a registered school".
Open to interpretation, each family tend to put their own spin on it. Under no obligation to sit exams, many children sit Cambridge exams to gain entrance to university. The Correspondence School is also an option for older children.
The national director of the Home Education Foundation, Craig Smith, says there are no official statistics on the performance of home-schooled New Zealand children compared with those who study in the mainstream. Smith says anecdotally home educated children do go on to succeed alongside their secondary school peers.
"I've never heard of any home educated child that has applied for a place in university and been turned down. Not only do they get accepted, they do very well."
He says home educated children get snapped up quickly by tradespeople and are traditionally known for their strong work ethic.
Terry and Delwyn say they love the flexibility of home-schooling. For instance, Rebekah will delay sitting NCEA until next year, as the family will spend two months in Europe this year visiting Terry's family. Mainly, though, they tend to follow the school terms to keep in synch with sports and other timetables.
And they have regular activities scheduled. On a Tuesday morning Delwyn runs a Mainly Music group for pre-schoolers and her four children help.
Rebekah and Hannah man the desk and the Eftpos machine, while Christy is responsible for the sound system and Luke helps set up.
"We wanted that interface with the community, for them to be involved on a voluntary basis," says Terry.
Delwyn: "You can encompass a lot more life skills, give an overall picture of life rather than focusing on particular subjects."
One of the children's "economics" lessons involves responsibility for buying their clothes.
"They are little bargain hunters they are," laughs Terry, proudly.
When it comes to more formal study, they are each given a weekly "outline" of what they need to achieve and it is largely up to them to manage their time to achieve it.
"I often get up at 7am and Hannah is already at the table doing her work, because she knows if she gets it done she gets to go and play," says Terry.
But, as idealistic as it sounds, Delwyn, who describes herself as a "fairly relaxed person", admits it isn't for everyone.
"It works for us, it works for our family, but there would probably be lots of people it wouldn't work for.
"You've got to have a motivation in yourself to make it work. Some people love their careers so it's not going to work for them.
"I love being at home. I wouldn't like being out working. It suits my personality type and having kids that are motivated helps. But there are definitely days ... I threaten to send them back to school."
For Kerensa O'Brien, who last year tried home-schooling for six months, it was unworkable.
The mother-of-four, who is pregnant with her fifth child, found it was too hard balancing the needs of her pre-schoolers with those of her eldest daughter, who has since returned to school.
Ironically, Kerensa took her out of school because she felt she was not spending enough time with her, but then ended up feeling she was neglecting her younger children.
"I really enjoyed it but I started feeling I wasn't getting quality time with the others.
"It was hard to find a balance, it was a juggle.
"I didn't realise how tired I was and how bad I was getting with other things.
"It wasn't for me at this stage in life," she said.
However, while she intends to "stick with school for now", Kerensa has not written off home-schooling in the future. "I would definitely consider it again when they are all school age and the older ones are a little more independent."
Terry says people generally have one of three reactions to home-schooling. And he has an answer for each of them.
1) Are you concerned about the level of socialisation?
Answer: They get a far greater cross-section of socialisation through home schooling. People think they are locked away all day at home and that they don't get to see their friends. The reverse is true.
2) I could never do it. I was never that good at school.
Answer: You buy the curriculum from the same place school teachers get it from.
3) The kids drive me crazy after two weeks of holidays.
Answer: That's just a symptom of kids not having enough parent time. They calm right down (with more parent time).
Says Delwyn: "I think there is a real stereotype, but I wonder if it is changing as more and more everyday people, who don't have alternative views of things, decide to home-school.
"They are just out there to teach their kids themselves."
The Bay of Plenty Home School Support Group can be contacted at:
BOP-support-group-subscribe@yahoogroups.com