Labour of love: workplace romance

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did it. Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall did it. Even Barack and Michelle Obama did it. Workplace romances are more common than you might think, finds Julia Proverbs.

While not all office dalliances progress further than a bit of slap and tickle at the Christmas office party, a not insignificant amount lead all the way to the altar. According to a Seek Watercooler poll, 15 per cent of workplace romances end in marriage.
Take Tauranga lawyers Trudy Paterson and Danny Jacobson, who hooked up while working at the same firm. Eight years later, they have a successful relationship and a successful business. "There was a bit of competition, in a way," says Jacobson of the sparks between them.
High-pressure environment
"We just realised we had a lot in common and in a way became closer friends ... then it just sort of evolved," adds Paterson.
They stayed together at the same firm for a couple of years, then left to start their own business, Employment and Environment Law. "We worked together first, lived together second," says Paterson. "Because we set up the business from scratch, it was always a joint thing. We both took the risk together, that's our anchor."
"We have complementary skills as well," adds Jacobson.
Because of the high-pressure environment in which they work, it's very common for lawyers to partner up, say the couple.
"We can appreciate the pressure it brings to bear," says Paterson.
Outside work, the couple find solace at their five-acre Whakamarama property, which they share with Paterson's sons Ben, 14, and Sam, 17, and where they have embarked on a large native planting project.
When it comes to taking time out from each other, she has her vege patch and he has his shed.
"I like my shed,"says Jacobson.
"He spends a lot of time in his shed," Paterson nods, with a slight roll of the eyes.
They admit, like any couple, they have their disagreements. The difference is they have to face each other at work every day.
"We just have to be professional, either sort it out quickly or car-park it until the evening," says Paterson.
"There are times when we go and have a coffee together [to sort it out]," says Jacobson.
"In a way that's our job - we are both very skilled at helping resolve disputes and if we can't, then Trudy's right," he laughs.
But not all couples who work together can resolve their issues as amicably.
With employment law one of their specialties, Paterson and Jacobson have "seen it all".
"Often what happens is someone is hired as a staff member, the relationship splits and the employer doesn't want them working there any more," says Paterson.
"It's often an issue when there's a power imbalance; where one of the partners has seniority," explains Jacobson. "Employment law is founded on fair treatment. As soon as there is the prospect of unfairness or disparity of treatment between employees, there is a risk for the employer. It can be quite an issue in workplaces - my advice would be don't do it with your boss; think twice."
More mature people

Mirleen Chinnery, director of careers at Right Click Employment Solutions, says while there are a lot of very successful workplace relationships, they can cause issues for employers.
"Some of the places I have worked at myself didn't encourage [workplace relationships] at all," Chinnery says.
"If one person has got an issue, then it generally becomes the issue of the other person in a partnership, which can have all sorts of ramifications.
"And there can be issues around children being ill and partners taking time off, going on holiday together, those sorts of things."
Workplace romances tend to be more successful the more mature people are, she says.
"I think it has a lot to do with maturity; being comfortable with yourself and the person you are with. You know yourself in terms of what you like and don't like, your weaknesses and strengths. You have learnt the art of compromising ..."
Workplace relationships tend to be more common in high-pressure industries where there is a common understanding, Chinnery says.
Janet Faulding, general manager of Seek New Zealand, says it's "only natural" that some people will meet their partners at work.
"On average we spend half our waking hours at work and it's an environment where we can meet all kinds of interesting people, with similar interests and experiences."
However, for anyone considering a relationship with a colleague, Faulding suggests weighing up the professional consequences.
"It may be worth thinking through potential issues before giving in to temptation. Many workplaces have policies on office relationships due to the impact they can have on the working environment."
Three couples at Tozer
At Tozer Real Estate's Cherrywood office, there are three couples - Mary O'Sullivan and Peter Campbell, Pip Woodhouse-Shea and Phil Shea, and Sherry and Peter Turmer.
O'Sullivan and Campbell, who have been together 25 years, met at work and, for the most part, have continued to work in real estate together ever since.
"It works really well,"says O'Sullivan, who is a director of the company. "We can both share the load and we understand the process, which often involves after normal hours work and a lot of weekend work."
"When it gets really busy, we can manage things a lot easier," says Campbell.
"Communication is important and tolerance is a big part of it," adds O'Sullivan.
Woodhouse-Shea and Shea didn't meet at work - she was in retail and he was a police officer when they got together in 1982 - but five years ago they decided to team up.
She joined Tozer in 2003 and he had previously worked in real estate, so it was a natural fit.
Despite only having a filing cabinet between them at work, they say they never get sick of each other.
"Because we are opposite personality types, we don't tend to clash," Shea says. "We don't try to compete in the same areas.
"I would say Pip is more outgoing and extroverted and I'm a bit more laid-back."
"A lot of people say they couldn't work with their partner," adds Woodhouse-Shea.
"We have always had a very close relationship, even before we were working together. We are seldom not seen together. We have always been quite connected to each other in that way."
Just the way we are
Dale Williams and her partner of 12 years, Nigel Munn, didn't meet at work, but have shared several workplaces. Currently working together at Bunnings Warehouse, Mount Maunganui, she is part of the "lifestyles" team in aisle 28 and he is with the "heat" team in aisle 49.
Williams started working at Bunnings when it opened in 2005 and was joined by Munn in November last year, when he was faced with an uncertain future at Guinness Appliances.
When they were in their 30s, they both worked in the kiwifruit industry and then at AFFCO, after which they did a year-long computer course together. "I think it's just the way we are; it's just easy," Williams says.
"Maybe it's just our natures. We don't get sick of each other. We don't get upset about little things because that's what they are - little things.
"We try not to work too closely together or ask for too much help from each other. Like anyone who works together, you fit first with the company, then if you get breaks together ... it's a bonus, really.
"You're not here on a personal level. You're here as a professional person. You keep your personal stuff at the door and you do your job."