Reality TV so bad you can't miss it

By Mark Dawson

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Yesterday's Chronicle front page reported on three women who have sworn off the old gogglebox. Forsaking television for more worthwhile pastimes, they say.

It's even suggested they are part of a nationwide Turn-Off-Telly movement.

Whoa! Just a minute there, ladies. Maybe you've jumped the gun.

They obviously are not aware of plans for a bumper new reality show.

Details are hazy, but I can let them in on the bare essentials of the latest ratings winner.

In a nutshell, four teams of seriously overweight couples will renovate an old house while singing kitsch pop ballads from the 1980s.

Too good to miss - that's The Block Biggest Losers Got Talent (the provisional working title for the show).

TBBLGT will ratchet up the blood, sweat and tears as paunchy power-drillers and blubbery builders battle for a brief glimpse of small-screen fame and some obscure prize provided by one of the show's innumerable sponsors and product-placers.

Squabbles, name-calling and hissyfits are, of course, guaranteed and everyone goes on a "journey" ... to the bottom of the proverbial barrel.

And it's all done in front of a panel of judges comprising that guy who used to be in those adverts a few years back; a one-time TV weather girl; and a token "celebrity" chef.

So have a rethink, you brave TV-less Wanganui lasses. Then again ... maybe not.

They say you get the TV you deserve - just what did New Zealand do that was so bad?

- Wanganui Chronicle

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