"We've been building relationships with iwi for years and they're very good and important relationships.
"When they come to us on an issue as important as this, and then to see us not supporting them, it must lead them to question our sincerity in those relationships."
Councillors voted 7-6 against a motion to have the Geographic Board consider adding the "h" to the spelling of the Wanganui district name. The urban area of the district can use either spelling but not the district.
After the meeting, iwi told the Chronicle the decision had put back a great deal of progress that had been achieved with council in recent years.
They cancelled a planned meeting with council set for yesterday and said they would also be seriously looking at partnerships they had with council at the port and the resource recovery centre. Spokesman Ken Mair said local iwi could not put up with "patronising comments from some councillors and them looking for reasons not to do the right thing".
"I don't know how many times we've talked about respect, integrity, the importance of a name. It doesn't dawn on some people. We find it very difficult to sit there and watch people debate us, our name, our history and our identity."
Mr Mair said iwi had tried to positively develop genuine relationships with council, but it felt as if Maori were the ones doing all the running. He said the community could be assured that iwi will do what it believed was definitely right "and that means we'll keep the issue to the forefront in our community".
Tariana Turia said she thought much of the Tuesday debate was "very false".
"I can take people standing up and saying, 'I don't agree with this'. But to have them sitting there saying, 'I agree it should be Wanganui with an "h" but I can't vote for it'. That's about being not prepared to show leadership.
"Don't patronise us and don't tell us 'I would have done this' or 'I would have done that', because they never do, and they never showed the leadership our community actually needs," Mrs Turia said. "This is a massive issue in terms of our identity, and people have to get it right."
John Maihi said the city had seen huge changes since the occupation of Moutoa Gardens almost 20 years ago.
"I can only see us going forward as one people. A slight change in the spelling of a name shouldn't be difficult to do," he said.