I REALLY shouldn't stalk funerals. For a lot of our formal funeral coverage, when a notable is being farewelled, we usually contact the funeral director to gauge willingness and an indication of what is appropriate and what is not. But Friday's funeral service for train driver Peter Elsey, which I turned up to on a whim and a need for an interesting photo, reminds me that all people deserve something special for their farewell.
I have always recalled an infamous story about an editor who used to stalk every funeral to the point of tastelessness (not here in Wairarapa, I hasten to add) and so I am mindful of propriety. People die every day, and funerals take place all the time. The basic concept of newsworthiness had to remain. In the case of Peter, it was that his coffin was going to be transported on a motorcycle hearse to Clareville. It had the quirk that editors like to have.
But, going deeper, you realise that among the messages of love for a departed family member, you get the truth about their lives, and you realise that it's not just the love that creates that impression, that living presence when they were among us. Instead, it is the quirks, the unique habits, the hobbies, the pursuits, that provide the character. Those closest to a person, who have shared their lives deeply, will understand more, but for most of us, it's the fun things we remember.
As I waited outside, listening to the recorded sounds of a steam engine being played as a farewell to Peter, I reflected on what is special to people, and how it holds you in place, wanting to know more. I had intended to get a quirky photo of a bearded motorcyclist transporting a coffin to Clareville. Instead, I stay in place and talk to people, and I get a quirky snapshot of a different sort - a snapshot into the life of a loved man. Sometimes it just takes standing still, watching things happening, and listening, and feeling lucky to have a glimpse into someone who deserved his bustling, noisy send-off.
Newspapers can't get to every funeral. But there is no such thing as a nobody.