Rhys Darby

Comedian Rhys Darby on life in New Zealand

Rhys Darby: Keeping up with tech stuff can be baffling

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Just when you think you've worked out the next big thing .....

Children around the world have embraced the iPad. Photo / AP
Children around the world have embraced the iPad. Photo / AP

Is it just me or does life feel like it's moving faster these days? The year is nearly over and yet I swear it was only yesterday I was partying like it was 1999.

Remember the Y2K bug? Ahhh those were the days ... I'll never forget that New Year's eve. My wife and I were in Golden Bay dancing with her parents to Abba songs when suddenly the rain began to fall. I took it as a sign from Mother Nature that everything was gonna be okay. Sure enough the clock struck 12 and life went on as normal.

The only hiccup that night was from me as I struggled off to bed with a headache.

Yes, I believe Mother Nature gave us a wet cuddle that evening as if to say, "Everything's all right humans, stop panicking about your machines".

Now here we are 13 years later, and look how far we've come. We've all but turned our back on nature in favour of a tacky, techie world. We're living in the middle of the biggest technological revolution since ...

well, last year.

I remember when I got my first (and only) iPad - excitement filled the air as I opened the box and stared at what was essentially a big iPhone but without the phone part. I knew I really wanted it and at the same time I knew I didn't need it.

A few months down the track my fears were realised as I lost it fair and square to my kids. Now it's full of children's games and cartoons, perfect for travel ... and restaurants.

Let's face it, those tablets were always gonna be a gimmick. We knew it from the start.

I'm not saying they're not great - I mean for the kids they've been invaluable - it's just we need to face up to the facts ... they're selling tablets with foldout keyboards now, it's the latest craze. Why? Well I guess it's the one thing they're missing, that and the title: laptops.

Robots, now they're the future. They've been turning heads since the mid-70s and now at last they've become a working part of society.

I saw one the other day in a busy shopping mall. It was about 1m tall and if I'm honest resembled a plastic parking meter on wheels, but I was still excited to meet him, her, it.

"Hello," it said as I filmed it with my phone.

"Nice phone you have there."

I chatted to this thing for about a minute. Its eyes were obviously cameras, but was it acting independently?

I was deeply intrigued by its modus operandi which I think is valid considering I impersonate robots for a living.

Eventually I moved on, convinced that it was just being controlled remotely by a man sitting in a room staring at a computer.

A few minutes later I found said man sitting in a cellphone store two doors down.

"Caught you!" I said. He looked up immediately from his robot-control device, which to my surprise was an iPad.

- NZ Herald

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