The highs and lows of another week on Planet Sport
Everybody's favourite pie-eating, Advanced Hair-ing, yeah-yeahing text pest has been at it again. Shane Warne yesterday pissed off Ricky Ponting by suggesting on Twitter that Nathan Hauritz was been poorly treated by his captain.
"How the hell can Hauritz bowl to this field??" Warne tweeted. "Feeling for Hauritz , terrible !! What are these tactics ? Sorry Ricky but what are you doing."
The two old teammates later made up. "Me and Punter swapped a few SMS's last night," the champion leg-spinner said. "We're mates, we're going to disagree a few times, it doesn't mean suddenly we hate each other and things like that."
World Warne II
It's not the first time Warne has tweeted with notoriety. When he first got the Twitter bug, the man with the scientific strand-by-strand follicles buzzed every celebrity he could find in the blogosphere in an exercise of electronic stream-of-consciousness name dropping.
Entrepreneur Richard Branson gets a gidday: "Hello mate, its shane here how are you buddy? whats news your side???"
And, for Lance Armstrong, there's kudos from one strict fitness disciplinarian to another: "hello lance respect for getting up that early and training ... big fan buddy ... go well"
Country singer Keith Urban gets a matey backslap: "hello keith its shane warne here how are you * whats news ? im on twitter now ... how cool is ithey !!"
Golfer Ian Poulter gets fashion tips: "hey bud it's Shane, I think you should go for lime green pants next round !!!! Hope all good your end !!!"
Pop singing hottie Lily Allen gets a cyber wink: "hey Lilly how cool is Twitter !!! I'm on follow me ... we can share your cricket thoughts ... hahahh ... good luck !" Oddly, brainbox English actor Stephen Fry seems to have ignored Warnie's chummy tweeting: "hey stephen its shane warne here how are you buddy my twitter is warne888 ... whats news your side ?"
Likewise, Lady Gaga has, as yet, not found the time to respond to Warnie's invitation to discuss musical preferences: "love Springsteen!!!"
Best comeback to Warne's chummy tweeting? Jemima Khan, take a bow: "Sachin 200 off 140 balls. Sure you werent bowling today Warney? Xxx."
At time of writing, he has the opportunity to become SuperShortsNZ's 20th follower.
World Warne III
The greatest of all Warne's electronic missives was a text message sent to his former wife, Simone Callahan. At the time, the pair were rebuilding their relationship following the bleached-one's earlier sex-text indiscretions. So the message he sent came as something as a surprise: "Hey beautiful, I'm just talking to my kids, the back door's open." The problem being that Warne was in Britain at the time while his missus was in Melbourne. The message's intended recipient was never revealed.
English soccer's biggest clubs have shown their commitment to the league structure. The Premier League new annual "solidarity payment" of $298 million is to be split between Football League clubs. "Premier League clubs take their responsibility for all levels of the game very seriously," they tell us. Manchester City's annual wage bill: $279 million
New Zealand may lie 11th on the Commonwealth Games medal table (er, 11 places behind Australia), but when the BBC measures medals against GDP our transtasman stock improves considerably: while we're 17th, the convicts are a mere 24th.
Good week: Sachin Tendulkar
With India's Commonwealth Games marked by indifference, non-attendance and - most regretably - Australian success, let's celebrate Sachin Tendulkar. The master batsman celebrates his team's win as he walks back to the pavilion on the last day of their second cricket test match against Australia in Bangalore. Tendulkar, who hit a double-century in the first innings, remained unbeaten on 53 as India enhanced their reputation as the world's No 1 test side. India won the match by seven wickets and the series 2 - 0.