Thank goodness for the great World Cup jersey fiasco this week. Apart from recalling what the dastardly French did in 1999, when they cheated the All Blacks out of their birthright by playing a spell of blindingly brilliant rugby, it's been difficult to get overly concerned about Sunday's quarter-final in Cardiff.

So an apparel conspiracy and a delayed coin toss to decide who wears the alternate strip have stepped in to fill the build-up breach.

Not that it matters, because the All Blacks could play in sackcloths and they'd still stomp all over France.

The scoreboard shows that the only things that have got closer between these two countries over the past five years are the jersey colours. It's always dangerous relying on statistics but in this case they are impossible to ignore.

A warning here: French people with faint hearts should avert their eyes. And young French people: ask your parents first before reading them.

Since the two sides drew in 2002, New Zealand has played France seven times while France has hardly played at all.

During this spell the try-scoring is dead even - between Joe Rokocoko and France - at six all. But if you bring other factors into the picture, such as counting the tries scored by the other All Blacks, the score stands at All Blacks 37, France six.

Admittedly, France used a dud side in New Zealand this year but at times they actually played better than their supposed top team has in recent seasons.

Since the 2002 draw in Paris, the average score is 41-11 in the All Blacks' favour, which is mild compared to the humiliation dished out to the French scrum.

Another interesting statistic is that France's core includes players who are almost as old as England's, which is saying something. This French side is well past its prime. Christophe Dominici, Serge Betsen, Fabian Pelous, Raphael Ibanez, Pieter de Villiers, Olivier Milloud - these blokes are old enough to swap rugby stories with Mike Catt.

That's enough about statistics.

France's problems start at the top, with their coach Bernard Laporte.

The man is a ticking time bomb, and not only in hotel lobbies. While most coaches regard matches as events to be studied at the time so as to rearrange tactics and sort out clever substitutions, Laporte can be observed in the stands throwing sudden one-man parties. Sometimes you wonder if he's actually doing a pump class via his laptop.