Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: May 17: Asking for trouble

Asking for trouble. Spotted by Vivienne while walking along Ridge Rd in Coatesville.

Happy Mother's Day

A nice relaxing Mother's Day for this reader. "The out-laws were coming over for lunch so we had planned a big roast. I put a cake in the oven with the leg of lamb to get started before the rest of it. Half an hour later - power cut. Neighbours' power is fine, it's just us! Two hours before the guy from the power company can come out. I decide to use the barbecue to cook the roast. I put it in a camp oven and bang it on the hot plate. The cake is going to be ruined anyway so I put that in a water bath and cover it with tinfoil and hope for the best. I leave it on the barbecue but 15 minutes later I glance outside and notice it is billowing smoke ... Hubby takes one look and grabs the fire extinguisher before flames ignite and spread to our wooden deck. The food is ruined. I go and have a little cry, baby wakes up ... the room starts spinning. Thud. Apparently I have smoke inhalation. Bed rest for the day."

Garage sale on the move

Tony recently moved house and says it was the usual 4pm rush on a Friday, waiting for mortgage and money transfers. "We decided to just put up the bed, watch TV and leave all the boxes in the garage. Saturday we unpack a lot but left quite a pile of the house items in the garage. On Sunday the garage door was left open as I moved various items into different rooms. I walked back into the garage for the hundredth time and found two little old dears looking in my boxes asking how much for the glass vase? They thought it was a garage sale."

Hitting to cow corner

A reader writes: "My father-in-law was learning to play golf and on this occasion was driving off the tee and sliced the ball so badly it went out of the course and over the fence into a paddock with a herd of cows in it. One poor cow was hit fair and square on the top of the head, after which the ball bounced back into play with a favourable lie. The cow shook its head and continued eating grass as if nothing had happened. Dangerous places, golf courses."

Cliches that grate

1. Not in any way, shape or form - to make a point of strongly denying or ruling something out.

2. In his heart of hearts ... What on earth is a heart of hearts?

3. Inappropriate this, inappropriate that - inappropriate has become such a catch-all. Even this comment could be seen as inappropriate.

4. We are rolling out blah blah ... In my day we started things!

- NZ Herald

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