11 Zac Guildford (NZ)
It's fair to say Guildford was an unlikely contender for man-of-the-match in a nervous, bumbling show during the Tri-Nations defeat. But by all accounts, the young winger gave a better demonstration of his footwork on the Brisbane bar-room dancefloors later that night.
10 Quade Cooper (Aus)
There's really only one contender for the No 10 jersey. Public Enemy No 1's value to the league scouts has reportedly taken a tumble, but he remains CupShorts gold. He earns a spot here as much for his knee to the mush of Richie McCaw ("Sorry mate, didn't see you there") and the unusual circumstances in which police found him in possession of two laptops in Surfers Paradise in December 2009 as for the cheery manner in which he has adopted the PE No 1 mantle.
9 Ben Youngs (England)
Has done absolutely nothing to warrant being in the Badboy XV. But no halfbacks popped up on our radar, so, when in doubt, name someone from the Tindall Stag-Do.
8 James Haskell (England)
Nice-guy James makes the grade for his antics as a schoolboy. He made a video of his mate Paul Doran-Jones getting saucy with his girlfriend while all three were pupils at posh Wellington College in England, back in 2003. Problem #1: She didn't know the hidden camera was on. Problem #2: The lads showed the video to their chums. (Note to Haskell's lawyers: to spare you the cost of a postage stamp, we'll just reread the letter you sent our colleague when Haskell was mentioned in relation to the Dunedin chamber maid incident.)
7 Sam Warburton (Wales)
Whatever you do, do not believe the evidence you saw with your very own eyes. As his countrymen are quick to point out, Wales captain Warburton is not the kind of player to pick a little bloke up and whack his head into the turf. Not at all. You're more likely to find him helping old ladies across the street, researching a cure for cancer or cleaning crude oil off penguins on Papamoa beach. Unfortunately, there's no video footage of him doing any of those things. Oddly, there is video footage of him picking a little bloke up and dropping him into the turf.
6 Jamie Cudmore (Canada)
The man nicknamed "Cuddles" by his teammates has three World Cup campaigns and a conviction for assault to his name. As Cudmore puts it, he "had a bit of trouble growing up", working as a teenage enforcer for a drug dealer and landing himself with a year in a youth detention centre.
Does well to keep the eyeball-prodding Schalk Burger on the bench.
5 Courtney Lawes (Eng)
Helpfully gave the tournament judiciary its first workout by popping his knee into the head of Argentine hooker Mario Ledesma. Got a two-ban game for his efforts and followed up by - wait for it - this week being fined for wearing a branded mouthguard.
4 Bakkies Botha (RSA)
Celebrated victory over the Lions two years ago by going home, grabbing his gun and shooting a wildebeest.
3 Nicolas Mas (France)
Selected more in anticipation of what a French tighthead prop will do in a World Cup final in which his side is heavily outgunned. What's French for "testicles and eye sockets, lads".
2 Leonardo Ghiraldini (Italy)
With a name like that, he could have been one of the great philosophers and sculptors of the Renaissance ... or a dirty eyeball-gouging frontrow thug. The 15 week-ban for getting his digits into Irish prop Cian Healy's sockets suggests the latter. Honourable mention goes to Dylan Hartley, who is both English and from Rotorua.
1 Matt Stevens (Eng)
Not particularly notorious for his on-field behaviour - unless standing about with your hands on your hips while an astonishingly untalented French team knock you out in the quarters is considered notorious - but has interesting off-field form.
The Durban-born prop bagged himself a two-year ban for cocaine use, later describing it as "the best thing that ever happened to me" - the ban, that is, not the Colombian marching powder.
