KEY POINTS:
When Winston Peters arrives at the Coastlands shopping mall, the first person he runs into is Labour's Michael Cullen. The second is Ronald McDonald.
Ronald is standing with a sea of children around him. He sees Winston. "Winston!" he yells, red mop bristling, clown smile beaming and clown
feet flapping.
"Are you the National Party candidate?" Peters replies.
He has come to the mall for some solace after the day's first event - an address to Grey Power at the Southward Car Museum. The man with a pathological hatred of small audiences in big spaces walks in to find only about 50 people sprinkled about a vast auditorium.
The woman in charge of advertising the event, which was well attended in 2005, never did so.
What's more, those present are not well trained. When he mentions the free off-peak travel he's got them on their SuperGold cards, he has to say it twice and then pause meaningfully before they take the cue and applaud.
Things get even worse when he finds two of those genteel older ladies are voluble National Party supporters. One - Marvyn Crone - takes him to task for attacking National.
Mr Peters has the advantage of the microphone, but Ms Crone compensates by getting louder.
When he starts on a tirade about John Key using his family trust to buy TranzRail shares, she yells, "Well, we know all about your trust."
She quietens down after he finally threatens to kick her out, but come question time she has one ready.
When he says proposed limits on water pressure in shower heads were all right, adding the two-minute limit on showers in Antarctica was enough for him, she goes in for the kill, dripping with sarcasm: "What, at only six litres a minute to wash a lovely crop of hair like yours?"
So the shopping mall stuffed with lunchtime workers, and children shopping with their grandparents, all of whom want photos and autographs, cheers Mr Peters up no end.
He leaves them all a-twitter in his wake, although they can't quite say why. They usually start with a qualifier: "he's a naughty boy" or "he's a pain in the bum to most people". But there is always a "but".
"But he's got a good heart," says one woman, who likes it that "he didn't want people coming into the country that we didn't either".
The first of the two retirement village stops also adds to his feeling of wellbeing.
Between retirement villages, the suspended Racing Minister attends the races at Otaki. He's greeted like a long-lost friend with "Hi ya Winnie" and several "you've done well for racing". "Did you get that down?" he asks the Herald.
The Herald puts a $3 bet on a horse to commemorate Winston Peters' day on the campaign trail. After leaving, a club official texts the result: "Tell Sir Winston The Strutter won."
