Instead, we're promising to lend to the world our sense of "fair play" and "New Zealand values" - whatever they are.
On present evidence, our values include the fact that we are "comfortable" with drone strikes on innocent civilians. We are cool with being part of the Five Eyes surveillance network. We felt world powers didn't do enough in Syria but we'll probably inexplicably support US involvement in the minefield that is Iraq.
We get to play golf with the President of the USA, and have the vague promise of better market access for our dairy products, with plenty of concessions on our side, of course. The problem is, in recent times, when perhaps we might have spoken up, we've pulled our punches. When Minister McCully visited Sri Lanka at the end of last year, we failed to emphatically get behind the independent investigation of atrocities by the regime against its Tamil minority, even as much of the rest of the world demanded it.
It will be interesting to see, for example, where New Zealand's allegiances fall on the issue of Israel. And will we be able to "advocate for small states" when their enormous benefactors - which are also ours - make demands?
A discordant note is also sounded in the intense way New Zealand has lobbied for the Security Council seat. Government ministers chose to wine and dine the decision makers with trips to Queenstown at a cost of over $200,000. I'm sure hobnobbing is part and parcel of the process, but would that it also involved consultation with human rights and community groups and other experts, to formulate some aims we could at least take to New York and present as a cogent plan of attack.
Because in the 10 years in which New Zealand has been lobbying for this position, the way the country sees itself has changed radically. We were once treated with caution by the US; now we enjoy favoured status. We were champions of neutrality and balance; we're now reversing that once-cherished aloofness.
The question is, which New Zealand will be turning up in New York should our bid be successful? Not just New Zealanders, but citizens of other countries too, have a right to know.