Transforming from Kiwi to 'Kaussie'

David Meech from National Capital Management. Photo / Richard Robinson

During his decade of living in Sydney, David Meech met a lot of Kaussies. That's Kiwi Aussies who, for all intents and purposes, are Australian, but who have a hidden New Zealand soul. Meech says Sydney is full of them. But they blend in so well, no one knows just how many there are.

"The Kaussie is born in New Zealand, has spent a long time in Australia, has a good career there, has taken up nationality, but often goes back to New Zealand for holidays and to see family. They are basically an Aussie until the All Blacks play the Wallabies. After the game they revert to Aussie."

Meech, who has returned home to Auckland for a better quality of family life, says resisting the conversion to Kaussie requires a thick skin and a sense of humour. The wearing down process - derisive joking - begins almost immediately. It didn't help that Meech, who arrived in 1988, lived in Bondi.

"It was a big joke at work - a Kiwi in Bondi. It didn't really matter what you did. If the All Blacks came over and won, everyone was cheesed off with you on Monday. If they lost, that was proof they were better than us and we were losers. If you get a job in Sydney, you're taking a job off an Australian. If you don't get a job, then you're a bludger. If you keep your own passport and stay too long, that's not any good because you should really be becoming an Aussie.

If you change you're passport that's proof again that they're better than us."

In the beginning Meech didn't mind the overly competitive silliness and parochialism. He imagined, after the first couple of weeks, people would forget that he was a New Zealander and move on. But they didn't. Two years later, it was still going on and it stayed that way until he left. Yes, it was tedious, but to survive he learned to toughen up and play the game.

He kept a set of stock responses. Eg: "Why are you coming over here to work?" "Because the competition is better." Or: "Oh you Kiwis are 20 years behind the times". Reply: "Well thank Christ for that." He also had several convict jokes at the ready to counter the inevitable sheep jokes. "It was an official test. If you didn't come out of the test well, you were either viewed as a wuss or a future target."

Then there was the kiwi accent. Meech, who worked in the accountancy field, would be greeted with howls of laughter if used kiwi pronunciation for plant (plarnt) or route (root). Did he change how he spoke? "Absolutely - you had to. If you want to be a success in Australia, you have to adopt the Aussie accent - it's pathetic really."

The change in vowels - plant as in ant and route as in out - also highlighted a difference in cultural aspirations. "America is where Australians look to. They see themselves as the junior America whereas we see ourselves as colonial Britain."