He's coming north to put a stop to what he says is the ill-advised happy-go-lucky attitude exhibited by New Zealanders.
Hilarious "French" raconteur Marcel Lucont tonight brings the 2degrees Comedy Convoy to Whangarei, featuring alongside comedians from the US, UK and New Zealand.
Lucont - the alter-ego of British born Alexis Dubus - is known for his ironic French narcissism and appreciation for the finer things. He plays host tonight, bringing with him snippets of his audience participation-laden show The Whine List, which was on in Auckland and Wellington as part of the New Zealand International Comedy Festival.
He comes to Whangarei - "I never before been, the audience better not screw it up" - with an arsenal of Kiwi's biggest "bugger" moments and says he now has unique insight into the people of New Zealand.
"Through it, I got to discover what irks the people of New Zealand," Lucont says.
"The attitude is 'no worries'. But you should have worries. It's to get to the front of the moans and whines of persons in New Zealand - like a therapy session, but we all leave a little more depressed.
"So many I suffer through. There was a woman in Auckland who working in the hospital who one day at work dropped not one, but two kidneys on the floor. I ask do they have a five second rule? And yes they do.
"In Wellington there was one woman, so many things have happened to her: She has a back injury from sex then found herself in a nude male sauna in Paris, she claims by accident."
Speaking of whines, or wines - flaneur Lucont says New Zealand's vineyards are among the best he's experienced, something he's hoping for more of in Northland.
"I knew the names of the wineries at the start, at the end, not so much, but I know the memories are good."
Lucont says he has prepared himself for Rainbow Warrior-related jibes. "If you are accusing me of being involved in any way, I admire that you think I could have orchestrated that kind of attack at age 7," he said.
The remainder of the Whangarei line-up includes American cowboy Wilson Dixon, super-dry Welshman Lloyd Langford, two-time Fred Award finalist Jamie Bowen and Angela Barnes from the UK.
-Tonight: Capitaine Bougainville Theatre, Forum North, 8pm - tickets from ticketek.co.nz.