By FIONA RAE
These days it's standard practice for dance acts to do remix albums. Even hoary old rockers get Moby to jazz up their tunes for the dance crowd.
Now this has translated to television. You want ER: The Remix? It's called Third Watch (TV2, 8.30 tonight).
ER has been shoved out on the street, given a whole lot of funky new beats, and turned into emergency eye-candy.
The theme music is by techno outfit The Crystal Method, and Massive Attack and Moby are used, among others, for incidental music.
Two former producers of ER, John Wells and Christopher Chulack, are behind Third Watch. It debuted in ER's timeslot in the States and has done so well that it has been renewed for another season.
Third Watch focuses on the paramedics and firefighters of Camelot, a fictional firehouse on the corner of King Blvd and Arthur, and the cops across the road at the 55th precinct.
This makes not one, not two, but three emergency teams to circle around with those steadicams made so famous by ER. They're fairly in a whirl whatever the crisis - such as a burning building, of which there have been several so far. The characters all turn up at once and recklessly rush in without backup or oxygen masks.
The first episode had a lot of rushing about. It started with a chase on foot (with accompanying techno music) and ended with the shooting of a character already set up as a lovable practical joker.
So far, so MTV. But some things don't change. Third Watch is fairly bursting at the seams of its bulletproof vest with archetypes, such as the world-weary, grumpy old cop (Sully) who is partnered with a rookie (Ty).
Ty is no ordinary rookie, however, he's the son of Sully's former partner, who was shot on the job. There are issues.
Whoops, pardon my Hill Street Blues old-school expression: they're not called rookies any more. Ty is a newbie - an expression that comes straight from the internet era.
The hothead cop is Bosco (former Melrose Placer Jason Wiles), who is permanently in a state of "vein-popping testeria." He's got issues coming out of his eyeballs. Last week it was homophobia.
Sensitive doctor is the brilliantly named Doc, played by Michael Beach (who was Al Boulet in ER). He wants to help people.
Kim (Kim Raver) is the young, tough paramedic who, for a smart woman, is completely blind to the fact that her partner, Bobby, fancies her something rotten.
She's got issues with her ex, Jimmy (Eddie Cibrian), who's at the firehouse, too. He has a thoroughly reckless personal life that includes gambling and a past fling with Kim's sister.
And so it goes. It's Shortland Street on Viagra. Hill Street Blues in a sports car. ER at a rave.
If you thought you might have heard any of the lines before ("God, I love this job," says Kim as she's rushing out the firehouse door) or the slower scenes were a bit soppy, don't worry, there'll be another chase along soon.
TV: Third Watch - Er, haven't we been here before?
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