The good oil: Who to rely on ...

Friend of the Good Oil was jotting down how much a new car would set him back late the other night when the kitchen lights flickered and went out. He opened the back door to check the fuseboard and smelled burning. The switch marked "lights" was hot. "I turned it off with a piece of wood. It sparked for a second before spitting out scorching flame and leaving an even worse smell," he said. Then he phoned Mercury Energy's 24-hour emergency number - a reasonable deduction seeing as it supplies most of Auckland's power. But a recorded voice said the service was no longer available. So he phoned a neighbourhood electrical contractor who, the yellow pages said, was open 24 hours. No luck there, the contractor wasn't answering his paging service. Finally, he phoned 111 and the fire brigade arrived within minutes. A fireman pinpointed the short-circuit problem and shut it down. The brigade doesn't charge to fight a domestic fire or check the threat of a fire. It doesn't charge for a lot of other things either, but that's another story.


Go for it


It's a competitive car market out there and Toyota wants to remain the market leader. We know of a woman who was offered a standard three-door Toyota Echo for $18,500. The recommended retail price for the base-model car they are calling the "Pied Piper" - after the television advertisement - is $20,000. The Good Oil has driven the Echo. It is a good small car - its roomy interior and bright and breezy range of colours is great for summer in the city.


Monster bash


The Variety Club bash begins in Dunedin next Saturday. Organisers are calling this year's 10th fundraising journey the Monster Millennium Bash. Over eight days, 60 wacky cars and their crews will pull into Invercargill, Queenstown, Haast, Franz Joseph, Arthur's Pass, Christchurch, Springs Junction, Westport, Nelson, Picton, Wellington, Ohakune, Taupo, Rotorua, Pukekohe and Auckland. Last year the bash raised $590,000. Millions of dollars have been contributed to worthy causes since the first fun fundraiser in 1991.


That's perfectly clear


A press release which arrived on the Good Oil's desk includes this: "Plank the starter advises all competitors that he will be toughening up on racers in the situation where they are the second car to stage and they 'overstage' (i.e. drive through the lights). In future, he will trigger the Christmas tree and let the other car go." No, it has nothing to do with Santa swapping his sleigh for a car. Dragcar enthusiasts heading to tomorrow's meeting at the Champion Dragway at Meremere will understand every word of it.


Mazda in the 20s


Mazda New Zealand is feeling flush. It unveiled three new models the other day and almost immediately signed to bankroll TV3's 20/20 current affairs show. The carmaker's marketing boss, Andrew Clearwater, said: "We see 20/20 sitting very comfortably with the quality and excellence of our product range and plans to aggressively grow our market share this year." Meanwhile, Mazda owner Ford will unveil at the Melbourne Motor Show next week the facelifted Ford Falcon AU11. Styling changes include new grilles, bumpers and badging, and the car is said to be quieter and ride better. It goes on sale in New Zealand in June.


We are the world


* How do you get off a drink-driving charge? Send the court a fake death certificate. A fellow in Germany did it twice - once for a heart attack, the second time for yellow fever. But a copper who booked him for the first offence later recognised him - and said that police would probably want to revisit the drink-driving charges now that he was alive again.