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Home / Entertainment

Raybon Kan: Maybe all news is fake, perception is all

Raybon Kan
By Raybon Kan
Raybon Kan is an award-winning stand-up comedian·NZ Herald·
12 Jul, 2017 05:00 PM4 mins to read

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Perhaps the housing boom was really just cosplay with all of us acting out scenes from The Block. Photo / Doug Sherring

Perhaps the housing boom was really just cosplay with all of us acting out scenes from The Block. Photo / Doug Sherring

Raybon Kan
Opinion by Raybon Kan
Raybon Kan is an award-winning stand-up comedian
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Yesterday, one of the banks warned that media predictions of a correction in house prices could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. (Ominous thunder, scary music.)

I suppose that's possible.

But does that mean an economist's prediction that the media prediction could be self-fulfilling is itself self-fulfilling?

Why did the economist say that out loud? Now the media will hear it! Shhh!

Suddenly we're in a house of mirrors, and it's Inception, and it never stops.

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But if the economist is correct: doesn't this suggest the boom itself was also nothing but media hype, self-fulfilled?

So the whole housing boom was just cosplay? Hardcore fans imitating all those seasons of The Block? Or Grand Designs? Little House on the Prairie? (Think how much that little house must be worth now, with its character, family possibilities, giant section - the prairie - especially now the Unitary Plan has zoned the prairie an infill housing area.)

It used to be you had to strike gold before you had a goldmine. Not any more. Now all land has been dusted in shiny flakes of capital gain, as hard to get rid of as glitter.

But did these flakes ooze organically from the fat of the land; or were they sprinkled from above, confetti made from the fancies of newspapers?

I don't know. Humans are ruled by emotions. Economics is human psychology, and humans are influenced by what they think of as information. That would include the media. Duh. Otherwise why would anyone pay to advertise? Why else would Twitter and Facebook be this lawless battlefield of fiction-bombs, all lobbed with varying degrees of spin?

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But who knows anything any more. Trump got elected President. His brute media fame achieved that.

Maybe all news is fake, perception is all, and history gets written by the winners. Surely this is what gets Rupert Murdoch up out of his coffin every morning.

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But - when it comes down to something as concrete as houses - can the media's daily episodes of housing soap opera genuinely be blamed for house prices going up or down?

Or is it more due to things like the Reserve Bank, council zoning, bank lending rules, and the empirical gap between supply and demand?

Do fundamentals never win a fight against hype? Or is everything nowadays the sizzle, not the steak?

I know not. You can probably tell, from the fact I've just worn out my question mark key.

It always amazes me to see things in the news like: the dollar went down or up, because such-and-such happened. That's very neat and tidy.

It must be nice to believe that markets are so rational. They clearly are not.

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Trump supporters, for example, voted against their own economic benefit. Trump supporters defend an Administration which doesn't even front the media, because Trump tells them the media is the enemy.

Trump voters genuinely think ignorance is bliss, and they should know. If Trump gets his way, his voters will be bankrupted by medical expenses. Yet they remain vehement in support - MAGA! - for whatever reason they manufacture under those caps.

Meanwhile, every second that Trump's heist is allowed to continue, a grasping handful of Republican Party richie-rich mega-evils get mainlined from a hosepipe to the public purse. Will there be anything left when he's apprehended?

Without wishing to jinx it, there's a glimmer of hope that Trump will be kicked out and locked up, after Donald jr's blabbermouth own-goal gloating about the Russian lawyer. He's been called an idiot, probably as a defence.

It's no longer a leap - more like a tip-toe - to conclusions. Treason sounds an old-fashioned word, but when you organise to get info from an enemy despot who'd dearly love sanctions lifted, and you might just be able to lift them - and you keep lying about it ever happening, while contradictorily saying it doesn't matter anyway - well, sometimes the old word fits just right.

Impeachment is too good for Trump. I prefer criminal prosecution, in a court of law, all their chickens come home to roost, the whole family in orange jumpsuits - sent packing to dungeons where they belong.

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Back in the day, the Soviet Union was bankrupted by the Cold War, when you had to pay cold cash for hardware in the arms race. Missiles and aircraft carriers are pricey. But now, in the digital age, Russia has managed to win America, for the price of a few good hackers. And what a bonus: the dedicated support of the Republican Party, to cheer the welcome of their new overlord.

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