OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T.
Two spectacularly disgusting moments played out on Married At First Sight tonight, and thanks to a shocking accusation and a sleazy "guys' night" display, Anthony and Andrew are now sharing the villain title.
Well done, boys.
First to the scene that started an absolute sh*tstorm on social media: when Anthony accused Nadia of being "frigid" in a teaser clip in the last episode, the optimistic part of me tried to imagine the full-length scene may not have been so bad.
For example, if it turned out he was actually talking to a fridge.
SPOILER: he wasn't.
Before Anthony and Nadia sit down for this week's commitment ceremony, we're treated to a little preview of his opinion on their lack of sex.
"Personally I feel she SHOULDN'T have those moments where she's uncomfortable," he says, while staring out a huge window to demonstrate he is brooding.
"She shouldn't be having that - we're far enough in."
Hear that, Nadia? You SHOULDN'T. So stop it.
OK, that's fixed, let's move on.
When the couple get called up to the hot seat to announce whether they'll stay or go, Anthony reminds everyone why he's a great person to invite over to your place.
"I'm not the type of person who's just going to go to the fridge and help myself in someone else's house ... so if I'm hungry, feed me. If I need a drink - get me a drink."
The chat then turns to the fact they're not having saucy time, which Nadia puts it down to the fact Anthony doesn't pick up on her sexy side-eye and other "cues".
"Even last week, I was thinking 'you're not very affectionate' - it's like getting blood out of a stone," she tells Anthony.
And then comes the clanger.
"I'm just trying to work out the boundaries. There have been times when - for lack of a better word - you've been frigid," Anthony replies.
That noise you hear is the collective gasp across the country.
Let me give you a hot tip, Anthony. There is no "lack" of a better word.
ALMOST ANY WORD WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
Psychologist Mel Schilling agrees.
Anthony doesn't get the hint, and repeats his accusation later.
"I mentioned that Nadia was frigid, for lack of a better term."
For those playing at home: Nadia has now been called frigid twice on national television, but despite this, the pair decide to stay together.
There's just one question remaining: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NADIA, WHY?
Things are still pretty awkward when Michelle and Jesse get called up.
Before they go in, Michelle reveals she has been close to walking out a few times, and is struggling to make things work with her "husband" (the guy who tried to do a number two in front of her.)
But, as she repeats a couple of times, she is very happy that her twin sister Sharon is so happy, she's really, really happy - couldn't be happier for Shazza, thankyouverymuch.
At the commitment ceremony, Jesse gushes about how much he likes Michelle, and Michelle reminds him it wasn't love at first sight.
Then she calls him "amazing" and says he's "going to make someone very happy someday," which are usually sentences that follow "it's not you, it's me."
Providing undeniable proof that these guys are on a sweet pay packet, she then chooses to stay on anyway.
Susan and Sean decide to stay together too, even though both of them have openly declared they won't budge from their homes on either side of the country.
Psychologist John Aiken is all of Australia when he asks why the hell they're even here then.
Sean says it's because he sees "good qualities" in Susan and is "learning so much" from her which I think roughly translates to "because this is a free holiday and I like money."
Of course, Nick and Sharon both want to stay on, and it's clear they'll probably end up married for real and Nick will have a buck's party with absolutely no strippers under any circumstances.
Meanwhile, Cheryl and Andrew have been squirming in their seats, hoping for another breakup so there are two more singles to choose from.
Considering they've been together for a fortnight and Andrew has already moved out and admitted "it's really good to have a break from Cheryl," they've got about the same shot of making it now as those PricewaterhouseCoopers accountants do of working in Hollywood again.
Cheryl seems to have blocked out that part of the brain that remembers bad things, like the time last week when her dad hated Andrew on sight and shouted at him for ages about wearing a T-shirt, and instead focuses on the positive:
"Andrew and I are committed. We really get along well."
We then see a flashback of their first date where she tells him she can't believe he's a firefighter and he asks why.
Ah, the good times.
It's like a scene written by Nicholas Sparks.
(Just want to point out that over the last few episodes, everyone on this show has suddenly taken to calling Andrew "Jonesy" and it feels forced, like in that movie I Love You, Man where Paul Rudd's desperately trying to be friends with Jason Segel and gets all nicknamey.)
Cheryl insists she DOES like Andrew - deep, deep, deep, deep down - and he basically calls her a filthy liar.
Anyway, in a move that surprises exactly no one, he wants to get the hell out of there and change his number, but Cheryl wants to stay.
Andrew looks like he might cry when news of his sentence gets handed down, but manages to spin some vague lines about giving it another go.
That positive spin lasts for about a minute or so, as the psychologists announce they'll all be hanging out with their partner's families again next week - meaning Andrew is going for round two with the angry Scotsman.
Later, the guys and girls split up for a night out.
It's hard to imagine in an episode where one groom has dropped the "frigid" line twice that he'd have competition for the most unpopular male on the series - but Andrew really steps up his game once he's fuelled by booze and testosterone.
Despite earlier telling Cheryl he's keen to work on their relationship, Andrew spends the entire evening trashing her, dropping some real zingers about her hair extensions, her terrible driving, and the fact she likes the Kardashians.
He tells the guys he considers himself single, and that he's so off Cheryl that he's actually missing Lauren - AKA the bride who left him for dead on their wedding night.
"Lauren's actually heaps more fun to hang out with than Cheryl," he admits.
God, imagine if she re-entered the experiment.
There's also a sleazy comment made about Cheryl's boobs, and it all kind of reeks of a frat party.
But two people who aren't ripping off their shirts and pounding their chests are Simon and Sean, who are disgusted by what the other guys are saying about Cheryl.
"I don't think Cheryl deserves to be spoken about in such a manner," Simon says.
"Put it this way, I'm not there with a beer in my hand clinking glasses saying 'yeah, yeah boys, tell 'em off, bag the sh*t out of her.' No way."
Sean also sticks up for Cheryl to the group, then later reveals how angry he is about what went down.
"I was very unimpressed tonight. They're not the sort of people I want to be around with - have a bit of respect. It wasn't the night I had planned. It was all about bagging Cheryl, and I thought it was pretty f**king shit actually," he says.
"People will obviously get to see what he [Andrew] is like."
You said it, Sean.
Watch Married At First Sight Australia on Monday-Wednesday nights on Three.