Sideswipe: July 6: Don't wear leather pants to a concert

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Why you shouldn't wear leather pants to a Iron Maiden concert, commando. Photo / Supplied
Why you shouldn't wear leather pants to a Iron Maiden concert, commando. Photo / Supplied

Heavy metaller comes undone

"I once went to see Iron Maiden play," writes Matt Owen on Quora. "I wore some extremely dapper and in no way silly leather trousers [the kind with laces up the sides for added-pirateability]. Leather strides have lining shorts built in, and I saw no harm in going commando.

Eventually some crowd-surfing started up. Now, I'm a fairly big lad so I don't often get the chance to partake in that sort of thing, but thought why not, got a leg up and was soon happily being passed around in front of the stage. So far, so good. Until one crowd member got slightly snagged. As he yanked his arm free he managed to take out the stitching and ripped my trousers open along the inner seam from knee to knee.

Still on top of the crowd and utterly helpless to get down, I spent the next five minutes giving 4000 people a prime view of the family jewels, before divebombing, upside-down and 'tackle out' on to the wall of bouncers in front of the stage.

They weren't impressed."

Burger chain's promo falls flat

Mr Burger, a Melbourne-based chain of hamburger restaurants, tried a promotion which involved giving "free burgers for life" to anyone who would legally change their last name to "Burger".

But then the restaurant heard from the Government solicitor's office, informing it that it would not process any applications for people changing their name to "Burger" for the purpose of winning burgers, because such applications "are not in the spirit of the name-change process". So the competition was canned.

At least, that's the story Mr Burger is telling everyone. Perhaps the restaurant realised too many people might have taken them up on their offer. (Source: News of the Weird)

Brexit supporters still having a laugh at former partner.
Brexit supporters still having a laugh at former partner.

Pakeha translation depends on how you feel

"Pakeha actually means something like 'White Pig', not non-Maori. It is highly offensive to many of us who know the actual meaning," says Nigel Blackler of Timaru. This is a myth that needs busting. It's just not true, yet it keeps on being trotted out.

The best explanation I could find was on SayIt.co.nz where Gavin White explains that the "white pig" meaning seems unlikely as there were no pigs in New Zealand before Europeans arrived.

Associate Professor Rawinia Higgins, from Victoria University's School of Maori Studies, says "The word originates from Pakehakeha, which means 'Imaginary beings resembling men, with fair skins' ... what people take issue with is that there are multiple meanings of the base words of Pakeha and of course it is easier to sensationalise the more derogatory meanings rather than the original intention."

According to the Maoridictionary.co.nz the word "pa" can mean to touch or hit, to obstruct, a village and a group, and "keha" can mean "flea", "turnip" and "ulcer". So Pakeha either means "fair skinned beings resembling men" or "a group of turnips". You decide.

- NZ Herald

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