Where have we seen you before?
I was a gynaecologist on Shortland St, a street comedienne in Power Rangers and a gossip on Good Morning. Or I could have married you, not as a Mormon but as a celebrant.
My comedy festival show is called:
Promise and Promiscuity: A New Musical by Jane Austen and Penny Ashton.
Due to it mainly being about:
Promiscuous promises of Jane Austen-inspired shenanigans. There is cross stitching, a meddlesome mother, a dashing heroine who is actually quite bright - you know, for a girl - and loads of others, all played by me. I also made my own bonnet with a hot glue gun.
The idea behind it having been inspired by:
Jane Austen. There are 33 direct quotes from Austen's work dotted throughout the show, but a lot more ball jokes.
Compared with how I am in everyday life the person you will see on stage is:
Actually nine people. Elspeth is the closest to me - headstrong, obstinate and promiscuous - whereas Lady Drusilla Wrexham is the least, a stuck-up, lemon-lipped Regency bitch.
The one thing I worry about the most performing this show is:
That people will think it is only for Jane Austen fans. Though it is true that the Jane-ites will delight in recognising moments, there are still enough balls jokes for everyone. Dudes too!
But I think the show is just as funny as:
Bridget Jones' Diary.
It may not be for you if you're offended by:
A world of balls jokes, gratuitous use of innuendo, home-made bonnets and kick-ass ladies.
But do head along if your idea of great live comedy involves: Theatre, witty double entendres, wordplay, musicals and kick-ass ladies. Or if you are fans of - Jane Austen ... surprise!
Though if you sit down the front, be warned:
You might end up marrying Cordelia, and as I'm a celebrant it'll be legal.
For me, this is NZ Comedy Festival number:
Eleven (good lord).
Which makes me:
A strumpet of the stage.
Herald Theatre, tomorrow to Saturday, 7pm.