Rating: * * *
Verdict: Demi-god flick, semi-good.
Inevitably with remakes - this one being a digital-tech re-do of the rubbish 1981 ancient Greece fantasy monster flick, which was stop-motion master Ray Harryhausen's swansong - the question arises: Why?
Well, because they can, is the answer.
And after Lord of the Rings, 300 and the God of War PlayStation game series, it would seem the time is right for another Olympus event.
But there are much more mystifying questions thrown up by this stupidly, slightly exciting, entertaining action flick of mangled mythology, in which has Aussie Avatar star Sam Worthington as lead sword-swinging toga-wearer, Perseus.
He's a demi-god of humble beginnings on a quest to avenge the death of his family, kill a few giant beasties, save a princess who is otherwise going to be sacrificed to a kraken unleashed by Zeus and Hades to show mankind they really should go to temple more and pray to the gods who created nice scenery around the Aegean sea in the first place. Phew.
But still the questions keep coming:Is Io, as played by Arterton, short for "Info"? Because other than looking hot, she seems to be there to explain everything?
Should ancient ruins look so ancient back then? Why does Zeus wear dazzlingly shiny armour? He's top god, after all. What is he afraid of? (Apart from salty old Poseidon getting too close and causing rust spots.)
Did Worthington's banshee-riding efforts in Avatar prepare him for the aerial dressage with Pegasus? Are flying steeds now standard in his contract?
Why does Perseus agree to go on a suicide mission to save a princess he's met for all of 30 seconds?
Doesn't the kraken whose job it is to eat the princess look a bit like the big monster out of Return of the Jedi? And Perseus' special sword is just a bit light sabre, isn't it? At least they left out the mechanical owl from the first one, which was a R2D2 rip-off? Oh no, there he is in a cameo...
That strange creature with the glowing blue eyes who joins the quest - did someone in the design department say "what we really need is a man-sized Transformer made out of charcoal"?
Was it because Sir Laurence Olivier was so very good in the original it was okay for Neeson and Fiennes - last seen together in Schindler's List - to sign on for this one?
Does playing Zeus, father of Perseus, mean Neeson can chalk up one more "wise mentor" role in that extensive part of his CV?
Why, in Perseus' band of merry men, does everybody end up quitting or dying so quickly? Jason at least had some Argonauts left at the end, didn't he?
Finally, a question we can answer. Is it really worth paying extra for the 3D version? No. The film wasn't shot in 3D, just modified later. And not very well. It's a spectacle at times, but it doesn't require them.
Cast: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes
Director: Louis Leterrier
Running time: 106 mins
Rating: M (fantasy violence)
