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Lady Gaga says she's 'single and celibate'

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Pop phenom and über eccentric Lady Gaga has trashed reports that she's in a relationship with her art director Matthew Williams - insisting she's "single" and "celibate".

Reports surfaced a couple of weeks ago that the lady of perpetual sartorial commotion had re-ignited her love affair with ex-boyfriend Williams. A theory bolstered by the fact the singer was snapped cradling Williams' son 10-month-old youngster, named Cairo, during a recent hook-up.

The News Of The World (NOTW) reported on Sunday that Williams had dumped his partner named Erin Hirsh, the mother of his young son, so he could get his feet back under Gaga's table.

The tabloid claimed the scorned ex was left "devastated" after seeing pictures of Gaga cradling her son, but was determined to "take the moral high ground" and not air her dirty laundry in public.

She told the NOTW: "I am afraid that I have to take the moral high ground for the sake of my son. I don't want to talk about this publicly due to him."

But one of her 'mates' was more than happy to let rip and blab to the tab, saying: "Erin is very upset about what has happened.

Losing the father of her child to this woman and seeing pictures of him kissing her was bad enough.

"But then seeing Gaga holding their baby in public has been totally devastating for Erin. There were words between her and Matthew, but he's absolutely not apologised."

Choose celibacy

Speculate all you like, NOTW, Gaga says she's in no frame of mind to be playing doctors and nurses with any fella at the moment. In fact, she's celibate.

Silence over there in the peanut gallery.

Glammed up to the hilt in signature oddball attire at the launch of her new AC Viva Glam lipstick with 80s singer Cyndi Lauper in London, Gaga said there wasn't anyone special in her life at the moment.

"I, for myself, make the choice to be single at this point in my life because I don't have the time to get to know anybody. And you know what? It's OK. Even Lady Gaga can be celibate," she said, decked out in black lace leotard, tights, heels and a giant black floral headpiece.

Gaga - real name Stefani Germanotta - added that she prefers to get to know a guy before jumping into bed with them.

"If you can't get to know somebody, you shouldn't be having sex with them," she said.

"It's OK at this point, in this day and age, we have grown up and we now know that we can't be that free with your love."

No glove, no love...

She also encouraged her fans to practise safe sex and warned of the dangers of playing "Russian roulette" by having unprotected sex.

"I see them every night and they are so beautiful and precious and lovely, but some of them are insecure and very troubled and not confident," she said.

"I meet them and they cry, and they say 'Gaga you make me feel like I belong'.

"And I think to myself about that one girl or those hundreds of thousands of girls who meet that guy at a club who makes them feel like they belong and they don't have that negotiation. We all know that having sex without a condom is ... Russian roulette."

Questioned about whether she had a man in her life, she joked: "I am alone and miserable ... but I like to be alone."

"I have had relationships in the past but because I am on the road and I am so focused on my work it's impossible to keep a relationship," she added.

Meanwhile, Gagaloo's been busy addressing those pesky hermaphrodite rumours again.

Tongue firmly in cheek, she told Ok.co.uk that she plans to "wear a d*** strapped to my vagina".

Enjoy your lunch.

She added: "We all know that one of the biggest talking points of the year was that I have a d***, so why not give them what they want?

"I also carry myself onstage in a masculine way and sing in a low register. This is not of nowhere, right?

"I want to comment on that in a beautiful, artistic way. How I wanna show it. And I want to call this piece 'Lady Gaga Dies Hard'.

"Come on, come see me try to persuade everyone to let me wear a penis."

Whatever floats your boat, babe. Dirk Diggler and Boogie Nights spring to mind.

P.S. Gaga announces more tour dates (not NZ).

Video: Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Baby joy?

Meanwhile, the rumour mill has spat out this adorable gem about Katie 'fembot' Holmes.

Word at the water cooler says Mrs Tom Cruise has been undergoing intense Scientology "auditioning" so she can prepare for another sprog.

According to the New York Post, Holmes spent "hours" at the Hollywood Scientology Centre last week, igniting the rumour that she's getting broody.

A snitch tells the Post: "This is exactly what happened just before she got pregnant with Suri. Tom has made no secret of the fact that he would like another baby. It is almost as if she is being prepared for it."

Rumour control: Scientology follower spending time at the hub of all things Scientology does not a mother-in-the-making make. Cool your jets, guys.

Speaking of babies...

Jude Law has apparently pulled his finger out and finally done the decent thing by meeting his model ex Samantha Burke.

Burke, who gave birth to their love child last year, reportedly met up with Law over the weekend to discuss child maintenance, etc.

That's good news. Whatever issues you have between you, sweep them aside and think of the kids. They always come first.

More details here.

For the Love of...

Whatever you do, don't click here.

Oh, too late. We warned you. Is this what Lindsay Lohan will look like with a bit of mileage behind her?

Movie trailer: Karate Kid

Another 80s classic gets the 're-imagining' treatment. This one stars Will Smith's son Jaden pimping some serious martial arts skills.

The jury's still out on this one.

The feud goes on

Gobby matriarch Sharon Osbourne has opened up an old wound by bad mouthing Aussie singer Danii Minogue.

The pair famously feuded while judging British talent show The X Factor, resulting in Osbourne exiting the show in 2008.

She tells Britain's Guardian newspaper, "I actually walked from X Factor because I couldn't stand the bulls**t any more. I was getting well paid - very well paid - so it was hard to leave, but I did because they didn't like me speaking the truth.

"They'd rather have some doll like Dannii Minogue as judge, endorsing this bulls**t. Dannii - I couldn't stand her. She wasn't so much a dim bulb as a bulb in a power cut. F***ing useless."

Feud No. 2

This is what razor-tongued word slinger Joan Rivers has to say about Victoria 'Posh' Beckham:

"Victoria Beckham is so nasty. Why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva.

"We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day. Victoria Beckham should get a life. I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar."

Ouch!

And there's more. She tailed off the insult with: "The only thing that is nice about Victoria Beckham is she never gives anyone the finger - because it's always busy down her throat!"

Blogger's briefs

* Brad who? Whatever you do, don't ask Juliette Lewis about her steamy affair with Brad Pitt. She's over it. Actually, so are we. Label yourself unintelligent here.

* Back to blonde. Our favourite pop survivor Britney Spears has a new look. We almost didn't recognise her. Blonde ambition here.

* Whoopi Goldberg talks incontinence. Bladder control campaign here.

* 'Glamour' model Katie Price (aka Jordan) is mouthing off at her ex Peter Andre again. We didn't make it past the headline. Maybe you can.

* Watch out Camden, Wino's back in town. Amy Winehouse mulls move to old London haunt to find her muse, real estate prices crash. Read more.

* Can't put our finger on it but there's something different about Johnny Depp. Got it, he washed his hair.

* Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow end their friendship? Yeah right.

* Jennifer Lopez is supposedly crying a river over the state of her career. Back to the drawing board, babe. You've always got your perfume.

And finally...

R-Patz on the Today Show musing about his new movie Remember Me. Just because...

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