Ultimately, nine tries were scored in the first half alone - Thames Valley getting a seven-pointer right on the break to edge their noses ahead 34-31.
Defence tightened up somewhat in the second stanza, because while Horowhenua Kapiti went ahead 41-37, Thames Valley's nerveless first five-eighths Zac Stephens slotted two more penalties in the 71st and 73rd minutes - Stephens finishing with 23 points and signalling a warning to Whanganui that they cannot make costly infringements.
However, Horowhenua Kapiti had been well served by their own kickers – first five Kody Edwards and reserve halfback Jack Tatu-Robertsson, and well into injury time, the visitors slotted a three-pointer of their own to leap-frog all the way from ninth to sixth and a home Lochore Cup semifinal.
That result set the cat amongst the pigeons for a number of teams sitting in the seventh to ninth bubble, and would have devastated Poverty Bay, who thanks to having an earlier start in Greymouth would have walked off feeling they did enough after a 41-17 win over wooden-spooners West Coast.
Scoring seven tries to get a bonus point, winger Te Peehi Fairlie getting a double, Poverty Bay held a decisive 22-0 halftime lead, which they maintained despite a stronger second 40 minutes from the Coasters.
Meanwhile, the other team on the chopping block was Buller, as their fate against Wairarapa Bush in Masterton was being keenly watched on the cellphones of Mid Canterbury's support crew late in their match at Cooks Gardens.
Buller, who just needed two bonus points to go ahead of Mid Canterbury, due to having beaten them in Week 1, fell short at 55-39 in another try-scoring shootout.
Wairarapa Bush were long out of playoff contention, but inspired by their utility back Inia Katia bringing up 100 games for the union the weekend before in Ruatoria, they pulled away from the visitors after leading 29-24 at halftime.
Fullback Aseri Waqa got a hat-trick of tries, while industrious flanker Eddie Cranston got a double.
Buller, who welcomed back their veteran first five James Lash, managed to close to 43-32 in the 70th minute, meaning one more try, even if they lost, would have been enough for the Lochore Cup semifinals – with winger Iliesa Tora getting a hat trick.
But to Mid Canterbury's relief, Wairarapa Bush scored two more tries to one in reply, condemning Buller to the dreaded ninth place.
North Otago will be likewise gutted to miss the Meads Cup group at the last hurdle, as King Country completed an outstanding second half of the round-robin with their 41-22 win.
A tight first half saw King Country ahead 17-14, but then the hosts took full control to lead 41-14 by the 70th minute, guaranteeing they would flip the fourth-fifth placing on their opponents.
However, their dubious reward is a long trip to Pleasant Point, 19km inland of Timaru, to discover what Heartland teams have found for 22 straight games since 2019 – it's South Canterbury's world and the rest are just living in it.
The defending Meads Cup champions absorbed the best that East Coast could throw at them - the visitors trailing only 12-5 until the hosts scored right on halftime - and then they blitzed away in the second stanza for a 57-5 win.
Second five-eighths Zac Saunders bagged a hat-trick while the season's leading points scorer Sam Briggs added six more conversions to his tally.
