Everyday, grassroots role models can drive positive social change. Photo / 123rf
Because we are wired for survival and connection, we instinctively model the behaviours, attitudes and values of others.
Role models are people we admire or aspire to be like, and people who impact on our lives or influence us.
Their impact can be positive or negative, depending on the values and behaviours they exhibit.
Role models significantly shape our behaviour by inspiring imitation, setting examples, providing guidance, influencing our values and building our confidence.
Role models are not limited to people we see in the media.
They can be everyday people like family, friends, teachers, bosses, colleagues, coaches and various others in our community.
Everyday role models impact in real, personal and transformative ways.
We value and never forget that teacher who believed in us, or that friend who showed up when no one else did.
Role models play a key role in how beliefs, behaviours and social norms are passed between generations.
Positive role models foster values like empathy, respect and resilience, while negative ones perpetuate harmful stereotypes and cycles of dysfunction.
This intergenerational influence shapes not only individual identity and belonging, but also the broader evolution of culture and society.
Because our values are absorbed from others before we’re even old enough to question them, intergenerational patterns emerge in parenting styles, prejudices and social biases, aspirations as to what success looks like, and points of view.
Role models, good and bad, don’t just influence us as individuals, they help shape our collective mindset by either inspiring action towards equity, empathy and justice or reinforcing prejudice, apathy and inequality.
Role models can show what is possible and promote values that help build more just and equitable societies such as empathy, inclusion, honesty and accountability.
They challenge harmful norms, inspire or empower others and lead by example.
Role models can also perpetuate and worsen social issues. Modelling violence, dishonesty, discrimination, self-interest or entitlement normalises harmful behaviours as acceptable, particularly if there are no consequences.
They contribute to socioeconomic divides and undermine social cohesion by eroding trust in institutions, leadership, and social systems.
Disconnects between socially endorsed role models and everyday role models contribute to mental health issues.
Socially endorsed role models such as celebrities, influencers and high achievers can set unrealistic and unhealthy standards of success and worth.
If we internalise the idea that we’re not good enough and don’t measure up it can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression or imposter syndrome.
When the everyday people who support us are under-recognised and under-acknowledged as role models in the broader sense, it devalues the kinds of emotional intelligence, care, resilience and relational support that are essential to our personal growth.
When we feel disconnected from what’s being celebrated publicly and invalidated in our own values or experiences, that dissonance can lead to a sense of isolation.
Cognitive dissonance refers to the psychological phenomenon of experiencing discomfort or tension due to holding two or more conflicting beliefs, values or attitudes.
It occurs in situations when our actions contradict our values, or when new information challenges our existing beliefs.
When society constantly promotes a narrow version of success focused on achievement, wealth or status, we may strive toward goals that aren’t aligned with our values, abilities or wellbeing.
When we feel pressured to keep chasing what doesn’t fulfil us, it creates chronic dissatisfaction, burnout and anxiety.
Curated role models leave little room for authentic struggle, growth or vulnerability.
If our real lives don’t match the staged, filtered and polished versions we portray or aspire to, we may feel ashamed or like we are failing.
This disconnect is harmful. It skews our expectations of ourselves and others and undervalues the everyday humanity that truly sustains us as a community.
Increasingly, we are turning toward grounded, values-driven role models who embody integrity, vulnerability and genuine connection.
This movement values authenticity over curated image, and real impact over popularity.
We are recognising the harmful impacts of idealised and influencer culture and inauthentic self-presentation.
We are questioning what success really looks like.
This shift is especially visible in community spaces that prioritise lived experience over status, alignment over external validation, reject traditional measures of success in favour of wellbeing, justice and sustainability, and value emotional intelligence and mentorship.
During this time of change, traditional measures of success and the allure of social media and celebrity culture persists, with cognitive dissonance affecting individual and collective wellbeing and contributing to increased polarisation, social division and mental health issues.
Role modelling is so powerful because it’s often unconscious.
With awareness we can consciously reflect on where our values and behaviours come from and critically evaluate whether they serve us.
We have a collective responsibility to consider what we’re modelling for others, including future generations.
This includes rejecting unhelpful inherited patterns and seeking role models who reflect our values and support positive growth.
Breaking generational cycles requires this awareness, reflection and unlearning.
Without it, we risk repeating behaviours that no longer serve us or our community.
Despite feeling disillusioned by some of the negativity and harm around us, we can create change.
We can choose to show up with integrity, empathy and intention, treat others with respect, be authentic and vulnerable, take responsibility and empower others.
We can do so consistently, not just when it’s visible or comfortable.
Within our community, I’m constantly awed and inspired by everyday, grassroots heroes who drive positive social change, role models who lead through consistent and authentic acts of empathy, understanding, support and courage.
Putting the needs of others before our own doesn’t always serve us personally, but it does serve our community.
That balance isn’t always validated or appreciated, but the impact is real and lasting.
True wellbeing stems from authenticity, emotional safety and living our values.
Thriving communities prioritise alignment, opportunity and growth.
Shelley Loader is the manager of Community House Whanganui.