Terry Sarten: The reasons why being alive is a wonderful privilege

CONCERNS: A scene from the controversial American drama 13 Reasons Why which deals with teen suicide.

THE current debate about the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why is reason to think about the mediums and messages that go out about what to do when things in life go AWOL.

The series is an American drama about the suicide of teenage student Hannah Baker, who leaves a box of cassette tapes detailing 13 reasons why she ended her life.

I have not seen it myself, but heard the concerns about the ethics of a profit-focused industry presenting complex risk issues to a potentially vulnerable audience in order to make money.

This could be viewed as exploitation or simply a really great piece of marketing in a world where it is all about getting noticed to sell your "product" amid the restless hubbub of social media.

The series certainly got huge media coverage, providing the company with a massive dose of free advertising.

This constant hustle for attention is evident every day. The model photographed standing naked on top of Mt Taranaki successfully climbed to the peak of media attention last week - though the shoes and gloves she was wearing did not cover up the lack of respect for local tikanga.

It was yet another example of how the level of outrage required to get noticed continuously escalates, ratcheting up the mad race for attention ("Pick me, pick me"). Social media now operates at such a speed that attention-seeking behaviour can out-race the facts, while feeding the hungry mouths of those spouting conspiracy theories.

This was stunningly evident when a conspiracy spoof I wrote about the Ku Klux Klan and bedsheet manufacturing appeared a few days later on a site running KKK stories. To my dismay, instead of simply lampooning the rise of alternative facts, I had actually created another one to add to the roll call of misinformation.

So, rather than relitigate the concerns raised by the 13 Reasons Why series I decided to provide an alternative set of 13 Reasons Why.

1. If things are not going well with friends ... Why not talk to them? Don't text - simply typing p*** off is not as deeply satisfying as saying that in person and telling them why you feel that way.

2. Why feeling lost doesn't mean you can't be found.

3. Do not believe everything you see on the internet. Why? Because Google is not your friend - it is just coding.

4. This is why the world does not stop revolving if you turn off your phone and computer for a while.

5. When romance goes wrong it does not mean the sky is falling. Why? Because if you look up it may be more grey than blue but the sky is still there.

6. If you are being bullied, ignore it. Why? Because bullies don't like it if there is no response. If bullying continues tell someone who can help.

7. Adults don't know why everything happens ... but they do know some stuff.

8. If sex is a happening thing in your life then you are a castle and consent is your moat and your drawbridge. Whether knight or princess, that's why "no" does always mean "no".

9. If you can't remember why you got drunk and what you did, it may be a sign from the gods of hedonism to slow down.

10. A hangover is your body protesting and saying why did you do that as it marches loudly up and down inside your head making it hurt.

11. Why it was fun before it happened is not always fun in hindsight.

12. Why asking others about what matters to them rather than just wondering what is the matter with them is a good thing.

13. Why being alive is a wonderful privilege " because the difficult bits can be counted in seconds, minutes, hours.

-Tel (aka Terry Sarten) is a Whanganui-based writer, musician, social worker, parent and grandparent - feedback welcome: tgs@inspire.net.nz