Major wah wah from me was the challenge in America's Next Top Model: Guys vs Girls was so utterly trivial I nearly splattered a Krispie on to the dog.
First one of the judges Kelly Cutrone, who looked like a fashion alien, stood over the models and gave them a fashion quiz; multiple-choice questions such as identifying a designer from a photograph, which model earned the most dosh in 2012, and who had won the show in which year. And so it went on.
Well my little fledgling models at least you didn't have to try to bone up on your general knowledge, science or anything mildly intelligent. Just know how to work it, chaps ... you know your face, your body, your gorgeous, gorgeous selves.
The young and the beautiful were told to strip off to their undies (this in the middle of LA) and go hit the shops for 20 minutes then return wearing an edgy fashion-statement outfit. So basically go shopping - just so tough!
Meanwhile, back at the model mansion there's plenty of narcissistic, emotive, edgy behaviour bordering on howly-bag meowing going on:
"OMG so much of this it feels so unfair ... ya know?", "I feel so-o-o-o disconnected ... ya know?", and "I so hate Chris I really do ... he just so thinks he's gorgeous."
But what blew it all up for me was the photo challenge. Each contestant was dressed in a type of toga and told to pose "strongly" while Tyra in the most honey-sweet voice you have evah heard, told them to be powerful, to focus and totally believe in themselves no matter what.
As they posed buckets of paint were thrown over them while the camera whirred and not one young chap blinked.
The final wrap-up of point-scoring where one model has to leave the show made me cringe. As each judge scored them without a thought for feelings, thin or thick skin or sensitive medical conditions I found it a bit disturbing.
But these young entrants must know they're in for a right bollocking and a super sort-out.
Superficial doesn't even begin to describe this show - I'm not going to say what I really thought.
