If I’m being completely upfront, I’ll admit to my involvement being just to visit the supermarket for the various goodies required while My Beloved has taken on a full immersion role in both cases for our family friends.
Naturally, for her this has involved singing every nursery rhyme ever written with accompanying dance movements and clambering on and off trampolines and all manner of playground equipment.
Hence the sad demise of her vocal cords, muscles and ligaments.
Anyway.
The two parties were an interesting study in what’s the done thing these days.
For instance, Party One featured 10 or so little cherubs operating at differing decibel levels of excitement.
Naturally, this increased throughout the afternoon to the point where one could hardly hear himself suggesting bark should not be thrown at other children in the playground and no, a bush wee wouldn’t be appropriate, even if it was behind the swings.
I’m sure you get my drift.
Interestingly, the food for Party One involved a significant amount of processed sweet treats, lollies and biscuits – that sort of stuff.
And as the kids hoovered their way through the never-ending supply, their noise and behaviour went, well, somewhat off the scale, culminating in tears when Master Five hurled a store-bought fairy cake across the table, which hit Miss Seven and caused a mess on her new dress.
Thankfully the parents were on hand to intervene and offer consoling words and hugs, but while I was mentally categorising Master Five as a “naughty little shit”, the respective parents were in agreement it was all down to the food which had made the kids hyperactive.
This left me somewhat puzzled.
Fortunately, that evening I was able to discuss the issue with the Boomerang Child, herself now a mum of a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. She made some interesting points.
For starters, hyperactivity is a thing. It probably was back in our day, but we didn’t know it then.
Kids were just overexcited about the occasion.
According to the Boomerang Child, food has a lot to do with behavioural issues in kids.
By this stage I was confused, tired and needed my bedtime Milo, even though I wasn’t sure, given my newfound knowledge – and the depth of sincerity with which it was delivered, I must say – that I wouldn’t wake with a third ear and/or rabbit teeth.
Thankfully, I didn’t, and we moved on to Party Two.
This was very different. Same singing and dancing, jumping and running. Certainly enough to exhaust My Beloved.
But the food was very different.
Fruit. Cheeses. Crackers. Chicken salad. And a birthday cake made straight out of grandma’s old recipe book. All traditional ingredients with nothing messed around with.
The kids still had a ball. Yes, they were still noisy and excited. Yes, I did think it would be quieter sitting in the middle of the airport runway. But the edge was taken off the behaviour, if that makes sense.
Later, it emerged one parent had brought some chocolate treats for the kids but the hosts had hidden it away rather than put it out among the other goodies.
Those assembled solemnly agreed it had been a good decision and the kids, while tired after an afternoon of fun, would definitely enjoy a good sleep that night.
Our party tasks at an end and Mrs P needing to be assisted to the car, I went off to find our host to thank him for having us.
I found him in the kitchen, mouth full of the aforementioned hidden chocolate and a guilty look on his dial.
As I left, a smile on my face, I was thinking hyperactivity might be the worst of his worries if his wife found out what he’d been up to while she was busy cleaning up.
