The sunset years - time to focus on quality of life.PHOTO/A - TC041012LONELYPLANET
The title for this column - Waiting For Heaven - is taken from a song I wrote a few years ago after performing at hospice.
When first invited to play there, I was somewhat apprehensive and dropped all the old blues songs about graves and death. But I quickly discovered, on talking to the audience, that there was no need to tread warily around the subject of death - it was something they had already placed in perspective and this was very evident in their graceful and warm welcome for a nervous guest.
There is no talk of euthanasia in hospice. The focus is on quality of life and I was reminded of this view when reading an interview with the Chief Coroner Judge MacLean.
He was reporting on suicide statistics and noting that some rates are coming down, particularly for Maori males and the mid-twenties age group.
However, he also expressed concern that recent figures show men in the 85-plus age range are currently more likely to take their own life than any other group. He was also very clear that euthanasia is suicide.
It is an important formal definition. The proponents of the "right to die" do not seem to see the contradictory view that asks us to accept the concept of "assisted suicide" for the elderly or ill while being deeply shocked by youth suicide.
The Chief Coroner's report notes 541 people killed themselves last year. The loss of these lives casts a huge shadow. We mourn those losses and we examine our social conscience seeking answers.
We do know the economic price of suicide. The cost of a life lost from suicide has been estimated in a New Zealand study to be $2.5 million - this figure includes service costs for suicide and attempted suicide cases, lost workforce production, lost years of disability free life and grief of family and friends (0'Dea & Tucker, 2005).
Solutions are pondered and national suicide prevention strategies developed, while a parallel debate is occurring around euthanasia or assisted suicide. It is as if we have somehow lost our moral compass and wandered into uncharted territory.
Supporters of euthanasia talk about ending pain as a personal right. There is a real danger hidden inside this concept - for those at risk of suicide, this language may be mistaken as an endorsement.
Emotional pain can take many forms and is something most people experience in their lives. It may be the pain of cumulative loss, the pain of depression, the pain of rejection or grief. Most people work their way through such emotional upheavals with the support of family, friends and professionals.
Young people are busy developing their identity and place in the world, and the loss of an important relationship can be devastating. Faced with the feeling that their world has collapsed, the pain can be huge.
Most of us, as we get older, find that elusive element called maturity and, with it, the ability to find responses to life's hurts. But first we have to go through the learning.
If there was a way to bottle the protective value of resilience, we could inoculate young people with it, keeping them and us safe as we navigate the heartache and worries. So far this has eluded science and the best protection we can provide is the ability to listen with love.
Hospice provides quality of life care for those with terminal illness that allows love to "access all areas". There is no talk of euthanasia.
Terry Sarten is a parent, grandparent, musician, writer and social worker. Feedback to email: tgs@inspire.net.nz or www.telsarten.com